1
00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:26,088
♪ Deck the hall with boughs of holly ♪
2
00:00:26,159 --> 00:00:28,787
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la
la-la-la-la ♪
3
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,524
♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪
4
00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:34,066
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la
la-la-la-la ♪
5
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♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪
6
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,464
♪ Fa-la-la, la-la-la
la-la-la ♪
7
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,201
♪ Troll the ancient yuletide carol ♪
8
00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:45,301
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la
la-la-la-la ♪♪
9
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:49,210
♪ Here we come a-wassailing ♪
10
00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:51,716
♪ Among the leaves so green ♪
11
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♪ Here we come a-wandering ♪
12
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♪ So fair to be seen ♪
13
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♪ Love and joy come to you ♪
14
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♪ And to you, your wassail, too ♪
15
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,819
♪ And God bless you ♪
16
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,388
♪ And send you a happy new year ♪
17
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:10,698
♪ And God send you
a happy new year ♪
18
00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:14,666
♪ God bless the master
of this house ♪
19
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♪ Likewise, the mistress too ♪
20
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♪ And all the little children ♪
21
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♪ That 'round the table go ♪
22
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,283
♪ Love and joy come to you ♪
23
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:26,978
♪ And to you, your wassail, too ♪
24
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:28,611
♪ And God bless you ♪
25
00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:32,124
♪ And send you
a happy new year ♪
26
00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:37,357
♪ And God send you
a happy new year ♪♪
27
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:43,133
♪ Oh, Christmas tree ♪
28
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:47,037
♪ Thou tree most fair and lovely ♪
29
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:51,439
♪ Oh, Christmas tree ♪
30
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:55,607
♪ Thou tree most fair and lovely ♪
31
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:59,618
♪ A sign of peace at Christmastime ♪
32
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♪ Spreads hope and gladness
far and wide ♪
33
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:07,990
♪ Oh, Christmas tree ♪
34
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:13,795
♪ Thou tree most fair and lovely ♪♪
35
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:17,165
- First time in Orlando?
- Oh, no.
36
00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,797
I fly in once a year.
37
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,034
Of course,
I usually come in a different way.
38
00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:24,133
- Where are you from?
- Up north.
39
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,734
Me, too.
Toronto.
40
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,211
Really?
41
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,544
- What line of work are you in?
- Toys, mostly.
42
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,413
No fooling?
You been in it long?
43
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,044
- Longer than you can imagine.
- I hear that.
44
00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:40,782
Priscilla, come back here.
45
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,558
You here on business?
46
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,690
I'm here to appoint
a replacement;
47
00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:49,064
someone to take over my duties.
48
00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:51,569
Unfortunately, a person
with the right qualifications...
49
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:54,072
is difficult to find.
50
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:57,075
Well, it's a smart cookie...
51
00:02:57,143 --> 00:02:59,168
that knows when to hang up
the old cleats.
52
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:01,076
Oh, it's time.
53
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:04,674
I'm afraid I really should have
done this last year.
54
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,742
I don't think I've quite...
55
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:09,014
got the magic for another trip.
56
00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:11,955
That's how I feel every time
they send me to Pittsburgh.
57
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,920
You know, there was a time
when I could remember...
58
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:19,123
every name on my list.
59
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,191
- A lot of contacts?
- Oh, all over the world.
60
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,862
Now I have trouble recalling...
61
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,031
who was naughty
and who was nice;
62
00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:28,869
who asked for a toy truck,
63
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,807
and who wanted a bicycle.
64
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,742
Sounds like a database problem.
65
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:34,712
[Jingle]
66
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,480
[Ernest]
♪ Oh, Christmas tree ♪
67
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,383
♪ Oh, Christmas tree ♪
68
00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:52,053
♪ Oh, Christmas tree
Oh, Christmas tree ♪
69
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:53,928
♪ Oh, Christmas tree... ♪
70
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,935
Hey, buddy, hurry up.!
I gotta get to the airport.
71
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:59,801
Don't worry, mister.
We'll make that plane.
72
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:02,204
I have lived my life
in the fast lane.
73
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,368
I have an almost
supernatural feel...
74
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,378
for the road
beneath my tires.
75
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,778
- Ha, ha! Thrill driver!
- [Tires Screech]
76
00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:11,214
[Ernest]
Reminds me of my old days...
77
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:12,911
on the "figure-8"track.
78
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:16,080
"In car 9, it's Ernest P. Worrell,
the screamin' demon.!
79
00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:19,386
He's going for his second
track record tonight.!"
80
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:21,017
Whoa!
81
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,254
[Tires Screech]
82
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:23,955
Whoa!
83
00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:26,396
Whoaaaa.!
84
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,024
- [Tires Screech]
- Hey, mister.! Mister.!
85
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,432
I told him about that seat belt.
86
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:39,209
Hey mister,
you can't get out here!
87
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:43,010
Fun is fun,
but you've got a plane to catch!
88
00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:45,107
[Grunts]
89
00:04:58,164 --> 00:05:00,428
Nice bag. Gucci?
90
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,365
Gunny! Get it?
91
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,403
Next in line.
92
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,712
I hate this job.
93
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,188
Is something wrong?
94
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,952
Is this your real name?
95
00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:29,119
It's the name
I'm known by, yes.
96
00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:31,663
Sure.
97
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,164
Why not?
98
00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:36,099
Thanks, Skippy.
99
00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:40,729
[Ernest]
We'll catch that plane, mister.
100
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,471
We'll make it.
Don't worry.
101
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,413
[Ernest]
We'll be airborne before you know it.
102
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:52,644
[Rewing Engine]
103
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,243
Ahhhh!
104
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:56,310
[Crunch]
105
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:57,981
Hey, you.!
106
00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:01,382
Touch down.!
107
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,827
- [Shouting]
- It's not my fault!
108
00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:06,421
Well sir,
I think we made it.
109
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:09,400
You're gonna make
that flight after all.
110
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,096
Come on, mister,
111
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,161
this is no time to take a nap.
112
00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:15,139
You're gonna miss your flight.
113
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:20,405
[Shouting]
114
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,914
Yes, sir, when it comes
to driving skills,
115
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:25,542
nobody can beat
Ernest P. Worrell.
116
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:26,949
[Rip-pp]
117
00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:28,111
Uh-oh.
118
00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:32,624
Here. Fold this up.
Kick some of these in here.
119
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:34,683
Yes, sir, curb to counter.
120
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,626
It's him!
121
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:41,126
Just a little extra service
us independents have to do...
122
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,462
to keep up with the big guys.
123
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,696
- Whoa!
- You forgot your carry-on.
124
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,100
Here, you'll need a jacket.
125
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,109
[Shouting]
126
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:53,543
You'd better take
this other suitcase.
127
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:55,046
Have a nice day!
128
00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:57,014
[Shouting]
129
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:00,975
What a place.
130
00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:03,078
Christmastime,
and it's 80 degrees.
131
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:06,819
Yes, I'm used to
a colder climate myself.
132
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:09,327
You know what I'd really like
for Christmas?
133
00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:12,125
- Snow.
- Snow?
134
00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:15,258
I could have sworn
you wanted a CD player.
135
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:17,302
- I'd better make a note of that.
- [Car Horn]
136
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,270
There's my wife.
I've got to go.
137
00:07:19,338 --> 00:07:21,636
Are you going to be okay?
It was nice meeting you.
138
00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:24,005
I've made a note
about that snow.
139
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:27,577
Taxi!
140
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,342
Mister, I'm a taxi.
141
00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:30,575
Here, you got one.
142
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:31,844
I'll take those.
143
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:38,482
[Shouting]
144
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:39,456
Where to?
145
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,755
Orlando Children's Museum.
146
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:43,728
[Tires Screech]
147
00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:47,689
Hey, come back here!
148
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,666
Ha! Ha!
149
00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:56,770
Bobby, we've got 9 crates on hold,
150
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:59,209
and they've got to be
picked up on the 24th.
151
00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:01,644
I can't believe it!
152
00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:03,011
Who in their right mind...
153
00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:04,947
would be working on the 24th?
154
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,848
That's Christmas eve.
155
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:08,682
I'll tell you who.
156
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,745
"We" who, that's who.
157
00:08:12,358 --> 00:08:14,292
Rain, sleet, hail,
the Super Bowl,
158
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,452
the 4th of July.
159
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,189
Bobby, if it weren't for us,
160
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:19,561
- this airline would never get off the ground.
- [Crunch]
161
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:20,758
Ain't that right, Bobby?
162
00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:28,730
I guess if you want things
done right,
163
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:31,140
you gotta do it yourself.
164
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,973
[Groan]
165
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:34,740
Yo, Bob!
166
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:35,974
Break's over.
167
00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,640
[Groan]
168
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:43,745
Sun gettin' to you?
169
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,656
Yes, it's not as bright at night.
170
00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:49,354
I'm usually here at night.
171
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:51,453
Here you go.
I always keep an extra pair.
172
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,998
Oh, thank you, Ernest.
173
00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:56,091
You know, I don't want to
insult you or nothin',
174
00:08:56,168 --> 00:09:00,036
- but do you know who you remind me of?
- Santa Claus?
175
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:01,664
I guess you hear that a lot.
176
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,902
Oh, yes.
But then, it's to be expected.
177
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:05,000
Because you look like him?
178
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,704
Because I am him.
179
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:08,440
Because you "am" him.
180
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:10,905
Well, how about that?
181
00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:12,280
Yeah.
182
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:14,919
[Humming]
183
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:36,603
Ahhh. Smell those Christmas trees.
184
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:38,769
[Ernest]
You can keep your "Channel” Number 5.
185
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:41,745
Just give me a whiff
of the old lonesome pine,;
186
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:43,714
that symbol of brotherly love,
187
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,581
that centerpiece
that all mankind gathers around...
188
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:50,349
to share the cranberry sauce
shaped like a can.
189
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:53,548
Ahhh!
190
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,116
Whoa, little tree!
191
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:57,719
Stay calm, Tannenbaum,
I'll get you out of this.
192
00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,162
- Whoa!
- [Tires Screech]
193
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,668
[Ernest]
Even in emergency situations,
194
00:10:02,735 --> 00:10:04,726
always follow safe driving rules.
195
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:07,398
You'll notice that I am using
my emergency signal indicators,
196
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,236
- [Crunch]
- When in reverse.
197
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:09,865
Ha! Ha!
198
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:15,443
[Brakes Squeal]
199
00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:17,345
Whoa!
200
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:19,247
[Brakes Squeal]
201
00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:20,580
Open up!
202
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:22,348
Here, hold this a minute.
203
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:24,150
[Crash]
204
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:27,454
[Ernest]
They really bunch up at this exit.
205
00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:29,050
Know what I mean?
206
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,766
I take it
you really needed a tree?
207
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:37,530
No, I've already got one,
208
00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:39,696
but I've got a friend
who could use it.
209
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:42,639
Besides, it'd be a shame
for it to be alone on Christmas.
210
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,608
It's nice to find somebody...
211
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,804
with such devotion to Christmas.
212
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:48,813
You know,
I don't tell many people this,
213
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:51,145
but Christmas
is just about my favorite time.
214
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,650
Ever since I was a little kid,
215
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:55,482
I always felt like it was
my own personal holiday.
216
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:57,988
I'm at one with the yuletide.
Know what I mean?
217
00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:00,048
I know exactly what you mean.
218
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:01,991
I even memorized
the names of all the reindeer,
219
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,722
like "Donder" and "Blister. "
220
00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:05,855
That's "Blitzen. "
221
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:10,463
It says, "Hold for pickup by... "
222
00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:11,798
Is that an "M"?
223
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:12,963
"V."
224
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:15,200
- Right here. That's an "M."
- "V."
225
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,765
- "M."
- "V."
226
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:22,039
- "M, M, M."
- "V, V, V."
227
00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:27,847
That is an "M."
228
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,718
"Hold for Helper Elmes. "
229
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,917
This is probably Amish.
230
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,653
It could even be Quaker.
231
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,718
Only thing I know
is that it's French.
232
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:38,354
"V."
233
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:41,525
Okay, Bobby, I need you
to go on back to work.
234
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,830
See you.
Talk to you later.
235
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,632
[Rumble]
236
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:49,907
[Santa]
Did you ever hear of a man...
237
00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:52,102
named Joe Carruthers?
238
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,544
It don't ring a bell.
Should I have?
239
00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:56,945
"Uncle Joey’s Tree House?"
240
00:11:57,016 --> 00:12:00,008
Uncle Joey?
Are you kidding?
241
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,179
♪They never get old ♪
242
00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:03,949
♪They always stay new ♪
243
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:06,719
♪Those 3 little words
"please" and "thank you" ♪♪
244
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,851
- Hey.
- Hey!
245
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:11,556
I haven't seen
that show in years.
246
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,222
Is he still on the air?
247
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,233
Well, he was until 3 weeks ago,
248
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:17,360
and then it was canceled.
249
00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:21,600
Well, by now he must be
rolling in mucho dinero.
250
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,040
Well, you don't get rich by doing...
251
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:27,568
a once-a-week children's program
on local TV.
252
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:30,672
You've got to do it
for other reasons.
253
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:34,242
And that's why I'm here.
254
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,221
Hey, hey!
255
00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,621
Hey, hold it!
256
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,819
- You forgot something.
- Take it easy, mister.
257
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:43,725
It's not me.
It's my brother.
258
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:45,423
He does this all the time.
259
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:48,262
We go out. He says he has the money,
and then we eat.
260
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:50,427
Then he goes to the bathroom
and sneaks out.
261
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:53,097
When the check comes,
I'm left with no money...
262
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,969
and this stupid look on my face.
263
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,940
Please, mister,
just let me go this time.
264
00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:58,067
You expect me to believe that?
265
00:12:58,144 --> 00:12:59,805
I swear it's true.
Look!
266
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,642
There's my brother now.
There he is!
267
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,079
Hey, Tommy!
268
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,309
Hey!
269
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,517
[Ding, Ding]
270
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:11,254
Whoa!
271
00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:13,550
Aaah!
272
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,617
[Brakes Screech]
273
00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:21,962
Please, mister, go, go, go!
274
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:23,695
Aaah!
275
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:25,703
[Ding, Ding]
276
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,572
Ding!
277
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,000
That was my mean uncle.
278
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:34,511
He makes me work in that restaurant
like a slave.
279
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,140
He keeps me locked up
in the basement...
280
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:39,411
with rats and filth,
and I just escaped.
281
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,749
Please don't let him get me, okay?
282
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,984
[As John Wayne]
Well, not to worry, little lady.
283
00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:46,957
You're safe with us.
284
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,422
Thanks.
285
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,989
I'm Harmony Starr.
286
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,831
Remember that name,
because I'll be famous someday.
287
00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:00,463
This is Ernest,
and I'm Santa Claus.
288
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,006
Surprised?
289
00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:10,372
No, no.
290
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:11,916
Not really.
291
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:16,653
[Children's Voices]
292
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:24,927
[Click]
293
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,559
That'll be $32.50.
294
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:31,694
There you go.
295
00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:36,399
- Hey, this ain't real.
- What?
296
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:38,875
This bill carries the likeness of one...
297
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:40,639
"Mr. Funtime. "
298
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:42,944
Hmmm.
299
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:46,109
Really, I don't have much use
for currency,
300
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,983
but I do like to
have a little around.
301
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:51,955
Just, you know, in case.
302
00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:55,221
Oh, my.
Oh, my goodness.
303
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:57,453
Last year,
304
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,827
a 5-year-old wanted...
305
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,265
a "Mr. Funtime" Grocery Store.
306
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:05,701
I included a large amount of...
307
00:15:06,805 --> 00:15:08,295
play money.
308
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:11,741
I suppose I must have
mixed it up.
309
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:13,402
Dum-da-dum-dum.
310
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,572
What we've got here...
311
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,515
is a failure to "accumulate. "
312
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,243
[Sigh]
313
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:25,848
What the heck.
It's on the house.
314
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:29,918
- Merry Christmas, old buddy.
- Thank you, too, old buddy!
315
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:31,895
[Indistinct Conversation]
316
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,245
Oh, right through there, dear.
317
00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:58,618
Ahem.
Excuse me.
318
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:01,558
I'm looking for a man
named Joseph Carruthers.
319
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:05,529
I'm the greatest.
320
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:06,621
Roar.
321
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,395
Me too, me too!
322
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:10,628
Roar!
323
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,400
For millions of years,
324
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:16,338
dinosaurs ruled the Earth.
325
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:18,638
- Roar.
- Roar.
326
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,076
Hey, don't do that!
327
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:23,979
Then, something
really strange happened.
328
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:27,246
Uh-oh, it's the ice age!
329
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,220
Oh, no, I don't feel too good.
330
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,280
Ah-ah-ah-choo!
331
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,392
He's a wonderful man.
332
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:37,088
We're so lucky
to have him with us.
333
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:40,222
You don't need to tell me.
I've watched him for years.
334
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,597
Yes, well, he's been
such a help here,
335
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,898
and the children
just love him.
336
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,598
I hope he gets something
going for himself soon.
337
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:51,336
Oh, I imagine he'll have
his hands full very shortly.
338
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:55,005
That's why we don't see dinosaurs
around anymore.
339
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,604
Hey, listen.
340
00:16:56,682 --> 00:17:00,277
I want to thank all you kids
for coming to see me today.
341
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:03,219
Why do I say "thank you"?
342
00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:05,688
Because they never seem old,
343
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,350
they always seem new,
344
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:08,950
those 3 little words,
345
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,996
"please" and "thank you. "
346
00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:28,745
♪Jingle bells, checkbook swells ♪
347
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,281
♪ Big deals on the way ♪♪
348
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:34,115
Hey, babe, park it in the shade.
What do you say? All right.
349
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,313
Come along, children.
350
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:37,980
Be careful now.
351
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,217
Come on boys, quickly.
352
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:40,553
Bye-bye.
353
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:43,094
You can go in now.
354
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:44,629
Hello, Joe!
355
00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:46,561
This is indeed a pleasure.
356
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,725
Hello.
Do I know you?
357
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,666
- Yes, you do.
- I do?
358
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,500
What I'm going to tell you
may sound fantastic,
359
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:56,097
but please suspend disbelief...
360
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:58,075
until I've gotten through it.
361
00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,737
Your name was originally on a list...
362
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,747
with several hundred others.
363
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,113
Slowly, for one reason or another,
364
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:07,584
the other names were eliminated.
365
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:09,848
The process took longer
than I thought.
366
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,083
But now, I'm sure...
367
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:15,126
I have the right man for the job.
368
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,627
Job? What job?
369
00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:18,925
I mean, what is this all about?
370
00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:22,694
Joe, you are going to be the new...
371
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,133
Excuse me, pop.
This is it, Joey.
372
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:26,831
The hand of fate
is reaching out to you.
373
00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:29,772
I know how broken up you are
about your show being bounced,
374
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,276
but you've got a shot
for the lead in a movie.
375
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:34,278
What's the movie about?
376
00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:36,246
A holiday flick
called "Christmas Sleigh. "
377
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:38,974
Blake Farrell had the lead.
378
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,451
At the last minute,
he goes skiing, falls on his puss,
379
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,454
and wrecks up a $5,000 nose job.
380
00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:45,285
Do you love it?
I love it, yes.
381
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:47,154
Talk about luck, right?
382
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:49,023
The interview
is in a couple of hours.
383
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:51,790
I want you to tint your hair
and lose the beard.
384
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,456
No, Joe, no!
385
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:56,228
Don't go looking like him.
You're set with my hairstylist.
386
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,065
Derek can make a hair blower
do everything except sit up and bark.
387
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,696
But your beard is wonderful!
388
00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:02,831
Thanks.
I think so too, Marty.
389
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:05,240
Who is this guy?
Already, I don't like him.
390
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,175
- My name is Sant...
- Excuse me, Mr. Santos.
391
00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:09,646
We're having a conversation.
May we continue, please?
392
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,649
S'il vous plait.
Thank you so much.
393
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,207
My goodness, my sack!
394
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:22,125
I can't believe I left it.
395
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:25,389
I must really be slipping.
396
00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:29,161
You're always pulling this stuff,
Ernest,;
397
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:30,599
knocking down the meters,
398
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:33,160
giving free rides to every hobo
you come across.
399
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,502
[Ernest]
But Mr. Dillis, this wasn’t just a hobo.
400
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,405
This guy was different.
401
00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:38,704
Call it clairvoyance,
402
00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:41,075
call it "extra-sensitory perspiration. "
403
00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:42,511
I just had this hunch.
404
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:44,674
I am not running
a charity operation here.
405
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,514
This is a business,
and we're supposed to make money,
406
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:50,077
and good Samaritans like you
don't make money!
407
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:51,918
I've had it with you, Ernest.
408
00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:53,252
You're fired!
409
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:02,066
Ernest, it was a dead-end job, anyway.
410
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:05,035
I mean, it's nowhere
working for a guy like that.
411
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:07,071
If there hadn't been children present,
412
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:09,369
it would have been
a very ugly scene indeed.
413
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:10,465
Know what I mean?
414
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,942
Hey, take this with you!
415
00:20:13,011 --> 00:20:16,378
[Jingle]
416
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:19,042
Why didn't you just tell him
you were robbed?
417
00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:22,780
This could have all been avoided
if you'd just lied.
418
00:20:22,854 --> 00:20:23,980
Merry Christmas.!
419
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,320
Ooh!
420
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:29,883
Ernest, you are in serious need of help.
421
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,623
Ooh.
422
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:34,996
- Wait a minute. Stand fast, Bobby.
- [Scratch, Scratch]
423
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,558
I think I hear something.
424
00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:38,398
[Crunch]
425
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:39,562
Ahhhh!
426
00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:42,072
[Whoosh]
427
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,769
Do you remember anything
about the cab,
428
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:49,405
beside the fact
that it was yellow?
429
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:51,745
No "Worrell" at City Cab.
430
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,682
I can try Metro.
431
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:57,620
I kept track of him
until he was 11 or so;
432
00:20:57,689 --> 00:20:59,418
Ernest, I mean.
433
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:01,425
What a good boy.
434
00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:04,360
Not very bright.
435
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,659
He grew up with this guy.
436
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:09,599
I think his name was Vern.
437
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:12,330
What is with you and this rummy?
438
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:14,599
You've already blown
your appointment with Derek.
439
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:17,301
He's a nice old man.
He seems a little confused.
440
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:20,038
I think we can
take a little time to help him out.
441
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,340
All right, all right.
442
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:23,108
Head on over there.
443
00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:25,046
I'll help Mr. Whiskers
find his whatever-it-is,
444
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,608
and meet you at the studio.
445
00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:30,484
Mr. Santos, listen, I'm sorry,
446
00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:32,819
but I have an appointment
I really have to keep.
447
00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:34,188
Marty will take care of you.
448
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:36,784
But, Joe,
really need to talk to you.
449
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:39,330
[Marty] Yes, yes, yes,
whatever it is, Mr. Santos,
450
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:42,390
you can tell me.
I'm Marty Brock, Joe's agent.
451
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:45,163
So, Mr. Santos,
do you live around here?
452
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:47,865
No. I have to go and find Joe.
Excuse me.
453
00:21:47,939 --> 00:21:51,739
Do you have any family,
any friends, any money?
454
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:57,314
I had some U.S. Currency;
rather a large amount.
455
00:21:57,382 --> 00:22:00,579
I gave it away last year...
456
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:04,213
to a 5-year-old named
Bobby Bidderman.
457
00:22:04,289 --> 00:22:06,883
What about now, Mr. Santos?
458
00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:09,085
The name is Santa Claus.
459
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,822
Ooh.
460
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:19,336
Why don't you just
stay right here...
461
00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:20,564
and I'll take care of everything.
462
00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:22,072
Okie-dokie?
463
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:23,670
Good.
464
00:22:23,742 --> 00:22:25,175
Yes.
465
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:31,379
Such a nice man.
466
00:22:32,451 --> 00:22:34,749
[Ernest]
Vern, what a guy.
467
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:36,879
Yeah, me and Vern
go back a long way.
468
00:22:36,955 --> 00:22:39,185
We spend the holidays together.
469
00:22:39,257 --> 00:22:42,192
I help him work on his house
and stuff like that.
470
00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:44,922
Me and old Vern are tighter
than stretched duct tape.
471
00:22:44,996 --> 00:22:47,726
I guess you could say
we're cut from the same bark.
472
00:22:47,799 --> 00:22:50,063
Old Vern's done pretty good
for himself, though.
473
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,365
If it weren't for me,
he wouldn't be where he is today.
474
00:22:52,437 --> 00:22:55,201
I taught him all he knows
about nuclear physics.
475
00:22:55,273 --> 00:22:56,706
Know what I mean?
476
00:22:56,775 --> 00:22:58,572
Yeah, Vern's always happy to see me.
477
00:22:58,643 --> 00:23:01,942
He's my best buddy,
and he throws the greatest parties.
478
00:23:02,013 --> 00:23:04,709
Course, we're a little early,
so we can help him decorate,
479
00:23:04,783 --> 00:23:06,808
and maybe put out the food.
480
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,079
Those little finger sandwiches,
481
00:23:08,153 --> 00:23:10,713
and cheeseballs, and bean dip!
482
00:23:10,789 --> 00:23:12,416
I hope he's got
something I can eat,
483
00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:15,289
not just lots of things
made of white sugar and red meat.
484
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:18,761
I think eating red meat
makes people overly aggressive.
485
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:21,298
They kill people and stuff.
486
00:23:21,366 --> 00:23:22,458
Know what I mean?
487
00:23:22,534 --> 00:23:24,627
You're as right as rain, puddin'.
488
00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:27,465
Pork's my meat.
489
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:32,207
Ho, ho, ho, Vern!
Merry Christm...
490
00:23:33,845 --> 00:23:36,143
I thought you said this Vern
was a friend of yours.
491
00:23:36,214 --> 00:23:37,681
Vern's just like that.
492
00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:39,478
He'll do anything for a laugh.
493
00:23:39,551 --> 00:23:40,813
Come on.
494
00:23:40,886 --> 00:23:44,117
- It's Santa's little party helper!
- Hi!
495
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:46,157
- This is Harmony.
- [Crack]
496
00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:49,125
She's been having a tough time,
so I'm helping her out.
497
00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:51,424
You know,
kind of a "father image" thing.
498
00:23:51,496 --> 00:23:53,657
"As the twig is bent,
so grows the tree. "
499
00:23:53,732 --> 00:23:55,256
Know what I mean?
500
00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:57,961
It'll look good right over here.
501
00:23:58,036 --> 00:24:00,334
[Harmony]
Nice place. It's really you.
502
00:24:00,405 --> 00:24:02,134
Yep, I'll just set it right in there.
503
00:24:02,207 --> 00:24:03,697
[Crunch]
504
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:04,867
Umph!
505
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:06,171
Ugh!
506
00:24:06,244 --> 00:24:08,712
Don't worry, Vern,
I'll make it fit.
507
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:11,112
[Creak, Creak]
508
00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:12,775
Ugh!
509
00:24:12,851 --> 00:24:16,514
Just hang some tinsel and lights
on this puppy...
510
00:24:16,588 --> 00:24:18,351
Aaooh!
511
00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:21,219
Party punch.
512
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:23,022
Yeah, that ought to hold.
513
00:24:23,094 --> 00:24:24,789
[Tree Creaks]
514
00:24:24,863 --> 00:24:26,797
[Slurp]
515
00:24:26,865 --> 00:24:28,799
Ahh!
516
00:24:28,867 --> 00:24:30,459
- Superb.
- [Crack]
517
00:24:30,535 --> 00:24:31,797
[Crunch]
518
00:24:31,870 --> 00:24:33,963
I've got to find Joe.
519
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:35,631
If I don't find him,
520
00:24:35,707 --> 00:24:37,675
so many children
will be disappointed.
521
00:24:37,742 --> 00:24:39,710
Officer, you've got to let me go.
522
00:24:41,079 --> 00:24:44,014
Do you really think
that was necessary?
523
00:24:44,082 --> 00:24:46,073
He seemed so harmless,
524
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:47,982
and in a strange way,
sincere.
525
00:24:48,053 --> 00:24:50,146
Come on.
He's obviously disoriented.
526
00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:52,656
A transient, walking around
with play money in his pocket,
527
00:24:52,724 --> 00:24:54,487
pretending to be Santa Claus.
528
00:24:54,559 --> 00:24:56,322
Is that who he thinks he is?
529
00:24:56,394 --> 00:24:58,294
His real name is Santos.
530
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:09,673
He got fired.
531
00:25:09,741 --> 00:25:12,608
Some crazy old guy stiffed him
for a $30 cab ride,
532
00:25:12,677 --> 00:25:14,076
and instead of calling the cops,
533
00:25:14,145 --> 00:25:16,670
Bobo here
knocked down the meter.
534
00:25:16,748 --> 00:25:19,080
Are those bacon cheeseburgers?
535
00:25:19,150 --> 00:25:21,584
Vern, it ain't like
the cab company can't afford...
536
00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:24,884
to give somebody a free ride
every now and then.
537
00:25:24,956 --> 00:25:27,186
And after all, Vern,
it's Christmastime.
538
00:25:27,259 --> 00:25:28,453
It's a time for giving.
539
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,222
[Rip]
540
00:25:30,295 --> 00:25:33,230
A time for chestnuts
opening on a roasted fire.
541
00:25:33,298 --> 00:25:34,458
[Rip]
542
00:25:35,967 --> 00:25:38,401
A time for sleigh bells
tinkling in the snow.
543
00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:39,937
Ugh!
544
00:25:40,005 --> 00:25:42,473
Vern, that puppy's really stuck.
Know what I mean?
545
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,941
[Rip]
546
00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:46,602
You know, Vern,
547
00:25:46,678 --> 00:25:49,545
it looks like a transmutation
of your 110 and your 220.
548
00:25:49,614 --> 00:25:50,706
Know what I mean?
549
00:25:50,782 --> 00:25:51,305
[Pop]
550
00:25:54,619 --> 00:25:55,176
[Pop]
551
00:25:56,655 --> 00:25:59,385
[Santa]
I arrived here just today.
552
00:25:59,457 --> 00:26:01,425
I had a simple job to do,
553
00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:05,395
and then,
everything started to get unraveled.
554
00:26:05,463 --> 00:26:07,897
First, I lost my sack,
555
00:26:07,966 --> 00:26:09,934
and now this.
556
00:26:10,001 --> 00:26:12,401
If you'd only take a moment
and just try to understand...
557
00:26:12,470 --> 00:26:13,562
Come on, pops,
558
00:26:13,638 --> 00:26:15,606
we got some paperwork to do.
559
00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:17,869
You're making a very big mistake.
560
00:26:20,145 --> 00:26:22,136
Hey, look at this.
561
00:26:22,213 --> 00:26:25,307
[Officer]
I never saw anything like this before.
562
00:26:26,518 --> 00:26:28,042
"I'm frightened. "
563
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,020
"Don't worry. It's only thunder.
564
00:26:31,089 --> 00:26:33,523
"We'll all be safe here...
565
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:34,923
together. "
566
00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:37,326
Oh, great.
567
00:26:37,395 --> 00:26:39,955
You kids are terrific actors.
You really are.
568
00:26:40,031 --> 00:26:42,795
I want to thank you
because you helped me a lot.
569
00:26:42,867 --> 00:26:44,767
I was a little nervous.
570
00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:47,968
He's a natural with the kids.
571
00:26:48,039 --> 00:26:50,507
He's already got them saying
"please" and "thank you. "
572
00:26:50,575 --> 00:26:52,372
You're the director, Carl,
573
00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:55,504
but personally,
I think there's chemistry here.
574
00:26:55,580 --> 00:26:57,673
Chemistry is very important.
575
00:26:57,749 --> 00:26:58,977
Chemistry.
576
00:26:59,050 --> 00:27:01,143
- You've got it, they want it.
- Really?
577
00:27:01,219 --> 00:27:02,811
Yeah, yeah.
578
00:27:02,887 --> 00:27:04,252
They want to shoot some tests
tomorrow,
579
00:27:04,322 --> 00:27:06,017
- but don't worry about that.
- Great!
580
00:27:06,091 --> 00:27:08,150
By the way,
what happened to the old guy?
581
00:27:08,226 --> 00:27:11,491
Forget him. You've got
a new career about to fire up.
582
00:27:11,563 --> 00:27:14,396
Good, but did he ever
find his sack or whatever it was?
583
00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:15,933
Yeah, yeah.
Taken care of.
584
00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:22,167
[Squeak]
585
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,732
I know what we need, Vern.
Bolt cutters!
586
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:26,742
[Splat]
587
00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:33,650
[Jingle]
588
00:27:40,959 --> 00:27:42,859
[Jingle]
589
00:28:01,146 --> 00:28:03,046
[Giggles]
590
00:28:06,618 --> 00:28:08,381
He's him.
591
00:28:11,389 --> 00:28:14,324
[Harmony] There's no such
thing. Think about it,;
592
00:28:14,392 --> 00:28:16,724
a guy who flies around
the whole world...
593
00:28:16,795 --> 00:28:18,319
in one night.
594
00:28:18,396 --> 00:28:20,489
It just doesn't quite correspond...
595
00:28:20,565 --> 00:28:22,760
with the laws of time and travel.
596
00:28:22,834 --> 00:28:24,631
Now, now, now, it's possible.
597
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:27,433
Take the international date line,
multiply it by the time zones,
598
00:28:27,505 --> 00:28:29,803
divide it by the accelerated rotation
of the Earth.
599
00:28:29,874 --> 00:28:32,240
Now, carry the one.
600
00:28:32,310 --> 00:28:35,074
Allowing for the vernal equinox
on the Tropic of Cancer,
601
00:28:35,146 --> 00:28:36,841
he might just pull it off.
602
00:28:36,915 --> 00:28:38,314
All right, all right.
603
00:28:38,383 --> 00:28:41,477
Let's just say this guy
really is Santa Claus, okay?
604
00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:43,111
Why is he riding around...
605
00:28:43,188 --> 00:28:45,679
in airplanes and taxicabs?
606
00:28:45,757 --> 00:28:47,418
Where's his sleigh?
607
00:28:47,492 --> 00:28:50,052
Where are his reindeer?
608
00:28:50,128 --> 00:28:53,029
[Chomping And Snorting]
609
00:29:08,513 --> 00:29:10,071
You know what I think that is?
610
00:29:10,148 --> 00:29:11,445
[Chomp, Snort]
611
00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:12,448
I think those are...
612
00:29:12,517 --> 00:29:14,314
Latvian goats.
613
00:29:16,821 --> 00:29:18,083
Wait a minute.
614
00:29:18,156 --> 00:29:19,589
It... It could be aliens.
615
00:29:19,657 --> 00:29:21,249
[Whoosh]
616
00:29:24,195 --> 00:29:26,322
[Whoosh]
617
00:29:26,397 --> 00:29:28,422
- [Knock]
- Is anybody in there?
618
00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:31,765
Santa, are you in there?
619
00:29:31,836 --> 00:29:32,894
[Knock, Knock]
620
00:29:34,072 --> 00:29:36,870
I've got your sack.
It's safe.
621
00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:39,409
I told you, they're all gone.
622
00:29:41,112 --> 00:29:42,977
What is this about, anyway?
623
00:29:43,047 --> 00:29:44,605
I don't know.
624
00:29:44,682 --> 00:29:46,616
Well, I think I know, but...
625
00:29:46,684 --> 00:29:48,049
Come over here a second.
626
00:29:48,119 --> 00:29:49,950
[Ernest]
I want to show you something.
627
00:29:51,089 --> 00:29:52,147
Watch this.
628
00:29:52,223 --> 00:29:54,123
[Jingle]
629
00:29:57,262 --> 00:29:58,957
[Giggles]
630
00:29:59,030 --> 00:30:03,057
Whoa, groovy Tuesday!
631
00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:06,297
I am going to slowly and carefully...
632
00:30:06,371 --> 00:30:08,737
reach into this glowing bag...
633
00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:11,970
and see if my finely honed instincts...
634
00:30:12,043 --> 00:30:13,476
are correct.
635
00:30:13,545 --> 00:30:14,807
No, no.
Don't do it.
636
00:30:14,879 --> 00:30:17,143
I mean, you don't know
what's in that bag.
637
00:30:17,215 --> 00:30:18,910
You don't know
where that bag's been.
638
00:30:18,983 --> 00:30:20,507
It could be some kind of...
639
00:30:20,585 --> 00:30:23,179
portable core-meltdown
or something.
640
00:30:23,254 --> 00:30:24,482
No problem.
641
00:30:24,556 --> 00:30:26,490
[Grunts]
642
00:30:26,558 --> 00:30:29,254
Oh, ahh, oh.
643
00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:32,421
[Harmony]
Careful, careful.!
644
00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:34,089
Ooh-ooh.
645
00:30:37,569 --> 00:30:39,730
I told you.
Now you're nuked, man.
646
00:30:39,804 --> 00:30:43,171
Unless I'm wrong,
and I hardly ever am,
647
00:30:43,241 --> 00:30:44,606
this is for you.
648
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,337
[Zing]
649
00:30:46,411 --> 00:30:49,107
Now ain't that just exactly
what you wanted for Christmas?
650
00:30:49,180 --> 00:30:51,671
Are you crazy?
Totally un-awesome.
651
00:30:51,749 --> 00:30:54,183
No, man, get with it.
I need something major.
652
00:30:54,252 --> 00:30:56,618
Okay, that was just for practice.
653
00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:58,679
Now, I'm in the groove.
654
00:30:58,756 --> 00:31:02,248
Now, I am at one with the magic.
655
00:31:02,327 --> 00:31:04,625
How about this?
656
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,630
Like it?
657
00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:08,097
That's you.
658
00:31:08,166 --> 00:31:10,691
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
659
00:31:10,768 --> 00:31:11,792
Ah-ha!
660
00:31:14,939 --> 00:31:16,600
[Flap, Flap]
661
00:31:18,009 --> 00:31:21,035
Come on, Ernest.
It doesn't work for you.
662
00:31:22,113 --> 00:31:23,307
Nah!
663
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,943
Right through here.
Come on!
664
00:31:28,019 --> 00:31:29,919
Look, guy, if your nose is clean,
665
00:31:29,988 --> 00:31:32,650
you'll get a hot meal
and be out on the street...
666
00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:34,817
before you can say,
"Frosty the Snowman. "
667
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:38,385
But it would be a lot better
if you'd give me your real name.
668
00:31:38,463 --> 00:31:39,395
I've told you.
669
00:31:39,464 --> 00:31:41,159
I've told everybody.
670
00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:43,223
My name is Santa Claus.
671
00:31:43,301 --> 00:31:46,134
Okay, we'll just go with "John Doe. "
672
00:31:46,204 --> 00:31:48,331
Now, see here.
673
00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:51,466
This is a really
horrible misunderstanding.
674
00:31:51,542 --> 00:31:54,978
I need to find a man
named Joe Carruthers.
675
00:31:55,046 --> 00:31:56,707
You have one phone call.
676
00:31:58,383 --> 00:32:01,978
I can't explain something
like this on the telephone.
677
00:32:02,053 --> 00:32:04,453
Well, unless you have
some magical powers,
678
00:32:04,522 --> 00:32:06,956
that's the only way
you'll talk to him tonight.
679
00:32:07,025 --> 00:32:09,653
Age?
680
00:32:09,727 --> 00:32:11,718
One hundred and fifty-one.
681
00:32:13,898 --> 00:32:15,627
We've got to find him.
682
00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:17,861
We've got to get this sack
back into the right hands.
683
00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,597
You saw how it was.
684
00:32:19,671 --> 00:32:21,696
Even me,
noted "philanthropic" that I am,
685
00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:24,003
couldn't get the right stuff
out of this sack.
686
00:32:24,075 --> 00:32:25,508
Do you know what this means?
687
00:32:25,576 --> 00:32:27,567
It really works!
688
00:32:27,645 --> 00:32:30,580
It means the end of Christmas
on this planet...
689
00:32:30,648 --> 00:32:32,513
as we know it.
690
00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:35,518
There's only one person authorized
to operate this sack:;
691
00:32:35,586 --> 00:32:38,953
his big red oneness,
"The Claus. "
692
00:32:45,830 --> 00:32:48,298
[Officer]
Open "D" cell.
693
00:32:53,504 --> 00:32:56,371
[Officer]
Close "D."
694
00:32:56,441 --> 00:32:58,636
[Prisoner]
This ain't no flophouse, buddy.
695
00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:02,576
[Prisoner]
I don't believe it.
696
00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:04,808
This place is full already.
697
00:33:06,117 --> 00:33:08,017
[Laughter]
698
00:33:40,485 --> 00:33:42,009
[Smack]
699
00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:43,280
Rise and shine!
700
00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,015
It's time to put
fuel in the tank...
701
00:33:45,089 --> 00:33:46,954
and rubber on the road;
702
00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:48,822
and reunite old Father Christmas,
703
00:33:48,893 --> 00:33:50,918
a close, personal friend of mine,
704
00:33:50,995 --> 00:33:52,053
with his magic sack.
705
00:33:52,130 --> 00:33:55,258
Ernest, I'm not much
of a morning person.
706
00:33:55,333 --> 00:33:58,200
Do you think we could just
keep it down to a dull roar?
707
00:33:58,269 --> 00:34:01,898
When I see His Frostiness,
I'm going to ask him...
708
00:34:01,973 --> 00:34:04,999
how he got in my house
when I was a kid,
709
00:34:05,076 --> 00:34:07,408
because we didn't
even have a chimney.
710
00:34:07,478 --> 00:34:09,412
I suppose you have a theory on this.
711
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,845
My theory is...
712
00:34:10,915 --> 00:34:13,076
he got in through
the forced-air heating system.
713
00:34:14,519 --> 00:34:16,578
You kill me.
714
00:34:16,654 --> 00:34:20,181
You talk like you
believe all this stuff;
715
00:34:20,258 --> 00:34:22,954
all this Christmas,
Santa Claus,
716
00:34:23,027 --> 00:34:25,086
fa-la-la-la-la stuff.
717
00:34:25,163 --> 00:34:27,097
Of course, I believe.
718
00:34:27,165 --> 00:34:28,689
Christmas is a known fact.
719
00:34:28,766 --> 00:34:30,597
Millions of people,
all over the world,
720
00:34:30,668 --> 00:34:33,262
celebrate Christmas
every single year;
721
00:34:33,337 --> 00:34:34,668
with colorful cards,
722
00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:37,936
and festively wrapped packages
with big bows.
723
00:34:38,009 --> 00:34:41,206
One Christmas eve,
I was lying in bed.
724
00:34:41,279 --> 00:34:44,442
I thought I heard a noise
in the heat ducts.
725
00:34:44,515 --> 00:34:46,574
And you thought
it was reindeer on the roof?
726
00:34:46,651 --> 00:34:49,085
No, I thought
it was Santa Claus...
727
00:34:49,153 --> 00:34:51,018
trapped in the heating system.
728
00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:53,148
I pictured him
wandering around in there...
729
00:34:53,224 --> 00:34:54,987
trying to find a way out,
730
00:34:55,059 --> 00:34:58,688
and finally turning himself
into sort of this big blob,
731
00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:02,392
and oozing through the vent covers.
732
00:35:05,369 --> 00:35:07,428
You're a sick man, Ernest.
733
00:35:07,505 --> 00:35:09,939
We've got to eat
and find "The Claus. "
734
00:35:10,007 --> 00:35:13,670
With my tracking skills,
that should be no problemo.
735
00:35:13,744 --> 00:35:15,507
Comprendo?
736
00:35:17,748 --> 00:35:18,715
[Sizzle]
737
00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:20,774
Ahhh.
738
00:35:20,852 --> 00:35:24,151
I like lots and lots of butter
with mine, don't you?
739
00:35:24,222 --> 00:35:26,053
Lots of butter.
740
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:27,284
Oooh.
741
00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,259
[Snort]
742
00:35:31,596 --> 00:35:33,291
Oh, yeah.
743
00:35:33,364 --> 00:35:35,628
Alien goats, all right.
744
00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:37,964
I read about this in The Enquirer.
745
00:35:47,612 --> 00:35:49,842
Reindeer?
But I knew that!
746
00:35:49,914 --> 00:35:51,973
It's part of the same species.
747
00:35:52,049 --> 00:35:53,676
[Whoosh]
748
00:35:53,751 --> 00:35:55,946
That's six out of eight.
749
00:35:58,389 --> 00:36:02,223
Bobby, there is something
real significant going on here.
750
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:09,896
♪ Five golden rings ♪
751
00:36:09,967 --> 00:36:12,663
♪ Four calling birds
Three French hens ♪
752
00:36:12,737 --> 00:36:14,170
♪ Two turtle doves ♪
753
00:36:16,073 --> 00:36:18,541
[Lone Male Voice]
♪ And a partridge ♪
754
00:36:18,609 --> 00:36:23,444
♪ In a pear tree ♪
755
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,080
This one was made in
Mrs. Thompson's room.
756
00:36:32,156 --> 00:36:33,350
Isn't that nice?
757
00:36:33,424 --> 00:36:34,857
You have to be very careful when...
758
00:36:36,661 --> 00:36:38,754
I need to find the man
who was here yesterday.
759
00:36:38,829 --> 00:36:39,921
What's his name?
760
00:36:42,366 --> 00:36:43,298
Santa Claus.
761
00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:44,095
Who?
762
00:36:45,970 --> 00:36:47,028
Santa Claus.
763
00:36:47,104 --> 00:36:48,128
What'd you say?
764
00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:50,538
His name is Santa Claus.
765
00:36:52,777 --> 00:36:55,803
That's it, yuck it up.
766
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:59,111
He happens to be
a close, personal friend of mine.
767
00:36:59,183 --> 00:37:01,048
Na-na, na-na-na.
768
00:37:02,486 --> 00:37:05,148
Fifth-graders think
they know everything.
769
00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,885
I know who you're talking about.
770
00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:11,224
He's that poor old man
the police took away yesterday.
771
00:37:11,295 --> 00:37:13,889
Uh-uh-uh.
772
00:37:13,965 --> 00:37:16,058
Santa Claus got busted?
773
00:37:17,501 --> 00:37:18,900
I gotta go.
774
00:37:18,970 --> 00:37:21,029
What I really wanted
for Christmas...
775
00:37:23,874 --> 00:37:27,537
was a million dollars
in small, unmarked bills.
776
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,014
[Jingle]
777
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,740
Guess what.!
778
00:37:33,818 --> 00:37:37,185
I wasn't doing anything.
I was guarding it.
779
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:39,416
Santa's in the slammer.
780
00:37:39,490 --> 00:37:41,424
We've got to get him out.
781
00:37:41,492 --> 00:37:43,221
Is vagrancy a capital crime?
782
00:37:45,196 --> 00:37:46,288
[Engine Starts]
783
00:37:46,364 --> 00:37:47,388
[Tires Screech]
784
00:37:53,838 --> 00:37:55,430
No, lady, you can't have that.
785
00:37:55,506 --> 00:37:56,996
Put that back.
786
00:37:59,410 --> 00:38:01,105
I hate to interrupt, Chief Spenks,
787
00:38:01,178 --> 00:38:03,009
but he's from the governor's office.
788
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,105
Great, that's just what I need today;
789
00:38:05,182 --> 00:38:07,275
some know-nothing
from the capital coming down here...
790
00:38:07,351 --> 00:38:09,012
and telling me how to run my...
791
00:38:09,086 --> 00:38:12,385
Hello, I'm Chief Spenks.
How can I help you?
792
00:38:12,456 --> 00:38:14,617
Clementh, here.
Oscar Clementh.
793
00:38:14,692 --> 00:38:16,489
I'm with the governor's
State Correctional...
794
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,996
Institutional Prisoner
Fair Treatment Task Force.
795
00:38:20,064 --> 00:38:21,554
And this is the governor's niece,
796
00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:22,929
Mindy.
797
00:38:24,201 --> 00:38:26,533
Mindy's writing a school paper...
798
00:38:26,604 --> 00:38:29,004
on "How government really works. "
799
00:38:29,073 --> 00:38:30,233
How nice.
800
00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:33,744
This is a surprise inspection, Chief.
801
00:38:34,812 --> 00:38:36,643
Now, wait just a minute.
802
00:38:36,714 --> 00:38:39,979
Do you need an education to be chief,
or can anybody do it?
803
00:38:40,051 --> 00:38:41,916
We had to fight through...
804
00:38:41,986 --> 00:38:44,682
an army of TV cameramen
just to get in here.
805
00:38:44,755 --> 00:38:45,983
Now, look here...
806
00:38:46,057 --> 00:38:49,788
Is that "Spinks" or "Spenks"?
807
00:38:49,860 --> 00:38:52,158
- Now, look...
- I can't tell you what a...
808
00:38:52,229 --> 00:38:55,027
pet project this is
of Governor Ellington's.
809
00:38:56,667 --> 00:38:59,135
TV cameramen.
Are we communicating here?
810
00:39:00,304 --> 00:39:01,999
Were you elected into office,
811
00:39:02,073 --> 00:39:04,041
or did you just buy your way in?
812
00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:05,973
Isn't she a doll?
813
00:39:08,446 --> 00:39:10,175
[Spenks]
The goal of this facility...
814
00:39:10,247 --> 00:39:13,739
is to rehabilitate
and retrain the whole man;
815
00:39:13,818 --> 00:39:18,187
and to make possible
his smooth re-entry into society,
816
00:39:18,255 --> 00:39:21,247
once he's paid for
the crimes he's committed.
817
00:39:21,325 --> 00:39:24,522
These are our most recent offenders.
818
00:39:26,764 --> 00:39:29,130
[Officer]
Open "D" cell.
819
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,361
Be sure to take copious notes, Mindy,
820
00:39:31,435 --> 00:39:32,925
and watch that penmanship.
821
00:39:47,284 --> 00:39:49,047
Who's the old man?
822
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,382
Um, Mr. Santos.
823
00:39:52,123 --> 00:39:53,920
Mr. Santos,
824
00:39:53,991 --> 00:39:56,459
how have you been treated
since you've been here?
825
00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:59,428
My name is Santa Claus.
826
00:39:59,497 --> 00:40:00,794
Excuse me?
827
00:40:00,865 --> 00:40:01,832
Santa Claus.
828
00:40:03,033 --> 00:40:04,830
Did he say "Santa Claus"?
829
00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:06,927
I think so.
830
00:40:07,004 --> 00:40:09,564
My good man,
you are not Santa Claus.
831
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:10,504
I am!
832
00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:12,967
- Are not.
- Am too!
833
00:40:13,043 --> 00:40:14,067
Are not!
834
00:40:14,145 --> 00:40:16,705
I am too, and you know it!
835
00:40:18,482 --> 00:40:20,780
This man thinks
he is Santa Claus,
836
00:40:20,851 --> 00:40:23,581
and you keep him in
a cell with regular,
837
00:40:23,654 --> 00:40:26,282
ordinary, everyday,
harmless criminals?
838
00:40:26,357 --> 00:40:28,086
Excuse me,
839
00:40:28,159 --> 00:40:30,093
but he really is Santa Claus.
840
00:40:32,163 --> 00:40:34,597
You see that?
Infectious insanity.
841
00:40:34,665 --> 00:40:37,133
This man needs to be isolated.
842
00:40:37,201 --> 00:40:39,795
- Are you getting this?
- Uncle Herbert will be shocked.
843
00:40:39,870 --> 00:40:43,306
Maybe it's a mistake;
a clerical error.
844
00:40:43,374 --> 00:40:47,174
Is this the way
government really works?
845
00:40:47,244 --> 00:40:49,712
[Ernest]
Look at those beady twinkling eyes,
846
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:51,372
those merry cheeks.
847
00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:55,112
I bet when he laughs he shakes
like a bowl full of jelly.
848
00:40:55,186 --> 00:40:57,654
Call my office
and tell them I'm taking...
849
00:40:57,721 --> 00:41:01,213
this menace to society
to the padded party room.
850
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:03,385
I hate for you to have
to see this, my dear.
851
00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:06,021
I'd hate for Uncle Herbert
to have to see this.
852
00:41:06,096 --> 00:41:08,189
Oh, don't tell him.
853
00:41:08,265 --> 00:41:09,960
The governor would
make a throw rug...
854
00:41:10,034 --> 00:41:12,195
out of this man's chest hair.
855
00:41:13,370 --> 00:41:14,962
Move it, pops!
856
00:41:15,039 --> 00:41:16,734
[Prisoner]
See you, Santa.
857
00:41:16,807 --> 00:41:19,002
[Prisoner]
Take it easy, Santa.
858
00:41:19,076 --> 00:41:21,237
Can we still get ice cream?
859
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:24,645
[Ernest]
Of course we can, but none for him.
860
00:41:24,715 --> 00:41:26,478
[Prisoner]
We'll be good.!
861
00:41:26,550 --> 00:41:29,815
All right!
Was that cool or what?
862
00:41:29,887 --> 00:41:31,582
"Is this the way
government really works?"
863
00:41:31,655 --> 00:41:34,249
They bought it!
Oh, what a team.
864
00:41:34,325 --> 00:41:36,657
That was close.
Thank you, Ernest.
865
00:41:36,727 --> 00:41:38,092
Time is running out.
866
00:41:38,162 --> 00:41:39,652
This is great.
867
00:41:39,730 --> 00:41:41,823
You are the most famous person
I've ever met.
868
00:41:41,899 --> 00:41:44,231
You're him:
"Mr. Twinkle in the Eye,"
869
00:41:44,301 --> 00:41:45,893
"Mr. Rosy Cheeks,"
870
00:41:45,970 --> 00:41:47,801
"Mr. Ho-Ho.!"
871
00:41:47,872 --> 00:41:51,000
I've got sugarplums
dancing in my head as we speak.
872
00:41:51,075 --> 00:41:52,872
Ernest, chill out, will you?
873
00:41:52,943 --> 00:41:54,843
She still doesn't believe in you.
874
00:41:54,912 --> 00:41:57,278
Get real.
875
00:41:57,348 --> 00:41:59,612
Nobody believes in Santa Claus.
876
00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:02,550
Oh, she's been this way
since that Christmas...
877
00:42:02,620 --> 00:42:06,283
when I brought her a doll
instead of a baseball mitt.
878
00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:08,154
Haven't you, Pamela?
879
00:42:14,832 --> 00:42:16,697
You see, I took over...
880
00:42:16,767 --> 00:42:19,702
the position of Santa Claus in 1889,
881
00:42:19,770 --> 00:42:21,203
from a German chap.
882
00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:23,706
I enjoyed every second of it.
883
00:42:23,774 --> 00:42:27,540
Then how come you don't want
to be Santa Claus anymore?
884
00:42:27,611 --> 00:42:30,205
No, no, it isn't that.
885
00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:32,545
You see,
with the passing of time,
886
00:42:32,616 --> 00:42:34,379
the magic fades.
887
00:42:34,451 --> 00:42:36,612
I've got some jumper cables
in the back...
888
00:42:36,687 --> 00:42:38,245
if you need recharging.
889
00:42:38,322 --> 00:42:39,880
No, Ernest.
890
00:42:39,957 --> 00:42:41,788
It's recharged through the passing...
891
00:42:41,859 --> 00:42:43,656
from one person to the next.
892
00:42:43,727 --> 00:42:46,890
That's why Joe Carruthers
is so important.
893
00:42:46,964 --> 00:42:50,092
I've got to make him
the next Santa Claus...
894
00:42:50,167 --> 00:42:52,533
before 7:00 tonight.
895
00:42:53,871 --> 00:42:56,897
Or I'm afraid...
896
00:42:56,974 --> 00:42:59,272
the magic of Christmas,
897
00:42:59,343 --> 00:43:03,177
the joys and feelings,
898
00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:04,976
will be gone forever.
899
00:43:06,417 --> 00:43:09,511
[Santa]
That's why we've got to find Joe.
900
00:43:11,188 --> 00:43:13,452
[Harmony]
Marty's office is on the 2nd floor.
901
00:43:13,524 --> 00:43:16,721
These steps might as well
be Mount Everest.
902
00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:20,757
Hold on a second, hon.
903
00:43:20,831 --> 00:43:22,958
Superior Talent, Inc.
Marty Brock's...
904
00:43:23,033 --> 00:43:26,696
Is my second-born son
without a sliver of gratitude?
905
00:43:26,770 --> 00:43:30,467
He wouldn't even pick up
his own mother at the airport.
906
00:43:30,541 --> 00:43:33,772
I'm only glad his father
never lived to see the day...
907
00:43:33,844 --> 00:43:36,836
when his son would treat
his own mother this way.
908
00:43:36,914 --> 00:43:38,882
Me, a lonely old woman...
909
00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:42,043
forced to cope
in a world of indifference.
910
00:43:42,119 --> 00:43:43,552
Hold on just a minute.
911
00:43:43,621 --> 00:43:46,556
Where is he?
Where is Martin?
912
00:43:46,624 --> 00:43:48,854
I need him to help me
with my will.
913
00:43:48,926 --> 00:43:52,885
Having walked from the airport,
I'll be dead soon.
914
00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:54,555
I don't know what to do.
He's with a client.
915
00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:56,361
That's life for you.
916
00:43:56,433 --> 00:44:00,199
You have two sons;
one good, one bad.
917
00:44:00,270 --> 00:44:02,135
And wouldn't you know it,
918
00:44:02,206 --> 00:44:05,141
with my luck,
the good one dies!
919
00:44:05,209 --> 00:44:07,803
But, Mrs. Brock, I'm sure
he didn't know you were coming.
920
00:44:07,878 --> 00:44:10,904
Don't side with him, honey.
There's no future in it.
921
00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:14,007
Just tell me where he is.
922
00:44:14,084 --> 00:44:18,521
I hope Ernest
has success finding Joe.
923
00:44:18,589 --> 00:44:20,853
He's been in there a long time.
924
00:44:20,924 --> 00:44:23,392
At least they didn't
kick him out right away.
925
00:44:26,230 --> 00:44:28,562
Your mother must be
worried about you.
926
00:44:28,632 --> 00:44:31,430
- What?
- Well, you've been gone a month now.
927
00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:34,471
That's a long time for a girl your age
to be on her own.
928
00:44:37,941 --> 00:44:39,875
You know, that is so funny.
929
00:44:39,943 --> 00:44:42,503
People do this to me all the time.
930
00:44:42,579 --> 00:44:44,672
Everybody thinks
I'm really young, you know,
931
00:44:44,748 --> 00:44:46,682
but I'm not.
932
00:44:46,750 --> 00:44:47,774
I'm 22.
933
00:44:47,851 --> 00:44:49,580
My mistake.
934
00:44:49,653 --> 00:44:51,621
I mixed you up with someone...
935
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:54,749
whose parents
had some problems last year.
936
00:44:54,825 --> 00:44:56,918
They got so wrapped up
in themselves...
937
00:44:56,994 --> 00:44:58,791
that they forgot that she...
938
00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:00,830
needed a little attention, too.
939
00:45:03,767 --> 00:45:05,064
No.
940
00:45:05,135 --> 00:45:06,193
L...
941
00:45:06,270 --> 00:45:08,704
I don't know anybody like that.
942
00:45:11,175 --> 00:45:14,770
Sounds to me like she ought to
wise up to the way things are,
943
00:45:14,845 --> 00:45:17,507
and just start looking
out for herself.
944
00:45:20,884 --> 00:45:22,044
Hey, Ernest!
945
00:45:22,119 --> 00:45:25,885
- How'd it go?
- It worked great!
946
00:45:25,956 --> 00:45:27,924
Victory is at hand.
947
00:45:27,991 --> 00:45:29,549
Now, we have to move on...
948
00:45:29,626 --> 00:45:31,560
to what I like to call "Plan B."
949
00:45:31,628 --> 00:45:32,925
Let's get moving.
950
00:45:32,996 --> 00:45:35,829
[Harmony]
All right, another scam!
951
00:45:37,301 --> 00:45:39,235
I can't tell you
how pleased they were...
952
00:45:39,303 --> 00:45:41,737
with your performance yesterday.
953
00:45:41,805 --> 00:45:44,672
It's just fantastic
how well Blake's costumes fit you.
954
00:45:44,742 --> 00:45:48,473
- I was reading the script, and I'm a bit concerned...
- About what?
955
00:45:48,545 --> 00:45:51,241
That fate dropped a lead
right into your lap?
956
00:45:51,315 --> 00:45:53,408
What should we do
about the beard?
957
00:45:53,484 --> 00:45:55,418
- Leave it.
- Lose it.
958
00:45:55,486 --> 00:45:57,477
Until I know
if I want to do this.
959
00:45:57,554 --> 00:45:59,146
What?
960
00:45:59,223 --> 00:46:01,248
What a kidder!
961
00:46:01,325 --> 00:46:03,657
Don't you just love this guy?
962
00:46:05,362 --> 00:46:07,694
Chemistry.
I can feel it.
963
00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:08,959
Can you feel it?
964
00:46:09,032 --> 00:46:10,431
Can you?
965
00:46:10,501 --> 00:46:11,593
Yes, you can.
966
00:46:11,668 --> 00:46:12,828
Here you go.
967
00:46:12,903 --> 00:46:14,461
Take real good care of this.
968
00:46:14,538 --> 00:46:15,937
Me and Father Christmas...
969
00:46:16,006 --> 00:46:18,338
are going to
Diamond World Pictures,
970
00:46:18,408 --> 00:46:21,605
where we will successfully
complete our mission.
971
00:46:21,678 --> 00:46:25,444
- [Ernest] You gonna be okay?
- I'll be fine.
972
00:46:25,516 --> 00:46:28,076
We're gonna go find Joe
at the studio.
973
00:46:29,052 --> 00:46:31,520
[Hoofs Tapping]
974
00:46:31,588 --> 00:46:34,853
Okay, call me cautious
if you want to,
975
00:46:34,925 --> 00:46:37,519
but better safe than sorry.
976
00:46:46,136 --> 00:46:48,400
Okay, what's in the truck?
977
00:46:51,041 --> 00:46:54,477
Is this where
the horror movie folk be?
978
00:46:54,545 --> 00:46:55,569
What?
979
00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:58,137
I got a truckload of snakes...
980
00:46:58,215 --> 00:47:00,342
for them horror movie folk.
981
00:47:00,417 --> 00:47:03,045
- Well, I'd better take a look.
- [Rattle, Rattle]
982
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:06,556
Careful now, they be poison.
983
00:47:06,623 --> 00:47:09,148
Poison snakes.
984
00:47:09,226 --> 00:47:11,854
One minute, you're a big...
985
00:47:11,929 --> 00:47:14,989
strappin' healthy man,
and the next...
986
00:47:15,065 --> 00:47:18,398
ssssnap!
987
00:47:18,468 --> 00:47:20,868
You're dead meat!
Deep six.
988
00:47:20,938 --> 00:47:22,371
[Rattle, Rattle]
989
00:47:22,439 --> 00:47:24,270
Careful, now.
990
00:47:24,341 --> 00:47:26,434
They'll knot up on ya.
991
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:28,944
Them poison snakes will do that.
992
00:47:30,147 --> 00:47:32,547
Gonna get 'em all riled up.
993
00:47:32,616 --> 00:47:34,846
[Rattle, Rattle]
994
00:47:37,087 --> 00:47:39,749
When they get knotted up
on you like that,
995
00:47:39,823 --> 00:47:42,121
they get real crazy.
996
00:47:42,192 --> 00:47:44,251
Especially on a day like today...
997
00:47:44,328 --> 00:47:46,228
when it's real hot.
998
00:47:46,296 --> 00:47:47,263
Huh!
999
00:47:47,331 --> 00:47:49,856
You want one for your boy?
1000
00:47:51,435 --> 00:47:53,995
I gave one to my boy last year.
1001
00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:57,534
- ♪ Rock of ages ♪
- No, that's all right.
1002
00:47:57,608 --> 00:47:59,701
Just take the truck
over to stage 5.
1003
00:47:59,776 --> 00:48:03,303
♪ Cleft for me ♪
1004
00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,940
♪ Let me hide ♪
1005
00:48:06,016 --> 00:48:08,348
♪ Myself in thee ♪♪
1006
00:48:10,153 --> 00:48:13,213
That's all these movie people want.
1007
00:48:13,290 --> 00:48:14,689
Poison!
1008
00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:18,828
Okay.
1009
00:48:18,896 --> 00:48:19,885
No.
1010
00:48:19,963 --> 00:48:21,157
She said "no. "
1011
00:48:33,710 --> 00:48:35,974
[Whistles]
1012
00:48:38,849 --> 00:48:40,749
[Whistles]
1013
00:48:58,402 --> 00:49:00,393
[Indistinct Conversation]
1014
00:49:01,438 --> 00:49:02,962
Quiet.!
1015
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:06,373
[Director]
Okay, everybody, ready?
1016
00:49:08,111 --> 00:49:09,738
Roll playback.
1017
00:49:12,683 --> 00:49:14,776
Okay, roll, please.
1018
00:49:14,851 --> 00:49:17,649
Christmas Sleigh test.
Scene 94. Take one.
1019
00:49:17,721 --> 00:49:19,712
And mark.
1020
00:49:19,790 --> 00:49:22,953
Ready and action.
1021
00:49:23,026 --> 00:49:25,290
[Girl]
Can we sleep with the light on tonight?
1022
00:49:25,362 --> 00:49:28,354
[Joe]
I think we can spare the electricity.
1023
00:49:28,432 --> 00:49:31,492
Now off to bed with both of you.!
1024
00:49:31,568 --> 00:49:34,036
You don't want to be awake
when Santa arrives.
1025
00:49:34,104 --> 00:49:35,935
Come on, off you go.
1026
00:49:40,043 --> 00:49:41,806
Okay, the kids are gone.
1027
00:49:41,878 --> 00:49:43,311
It's time to set out the toys.
1028
00:49:45,549 --> 00:49:47,414
You're bubbling over
with the, uh...
1029
00:49:47,484 --> 00:49:50,715
- Christmas spirit.
- Christmas spirit.
1030
00:49:52,055 --> 00:49:54,489
Then you hear something.
1031
00:49:54,558 --> 00:49:57,755
What is it?
You don't know.
1032
00:49:58,829 --> 00:50:01,161
It's outside the door.
1033
00:50:01,231 --> 00:50:02,664
Yeah, okay.
1034
00:50:02,733 --> 00:50:05,600
Now, it might be...
1035
00:50:05,669 --> 00:50:08,137
- Old Saint Nick.
- Old Saint Nick.
1036
00:50:11,942 --> 00:50:15,070
Should you open the door?
1037
00:50:15,145 --> 00:50:16,271
Or not?
1038
00:50:17,247 --> 00:50:19,112
- Roarrr!
- [Crash]
1039
00:50:21,918 --> 00:50:23,613
- Roarrr!
- Die, you son of a...
1040
00:50:23,687 --> 00:50:26,247
Son of a...
1041
00:50:38,101 --> 00:50:39,466
Cut.
1042
00:50:39,536 --> 00:50:42,164
Cut.! Cut.!
1043
00:50:47,611 --> 00:50:49,704
Is there a problem, Joe?
1044
00:50:49,780 --> 00:50:52,374
Well, I sort of can't say that.
1045
00:50:52,449 --> 00:50:54,815
The kids are right over there.
1046
00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:57,046
It's nothing they haven't heard before.
1047
00:50:58,455 --> 00:50:59,387
Not from me.
1048
00:50:59,456 --> 00:51:01,321
Listen, Joey.
1049
00:51:01,391 --> 00:51:03,951
We're not into gratuitous
bad language here.
1050
00:51:04,027 --> 00:51:06,052
It's important you show your anger.
1051
00:51:06,129 --> 00:51:08,256
Otherwise,
it's totally unmotivated...
1052
00:51:08,331 --> 00:51:10,993
when you pick up the ax
and hack him to pieces.
1053
00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:12,000
Good heavens!
1054
00:51:12,069 --> 00:51:13,661
- Who's this?
- Oh, no.
1055
00:51:13,737 --> 00:51:15,864
Joe, I thought this motion picture...
1056
00:51:15,939 --> 00:51:17,702
was called "Christmas Sleigh. "
1057
00:51:17,774 --> 00:51:19,935
I can handle this.
What are you doing here?
1058
00:51:20,010 --> 00:51:21,568
I own a sleigh.
1059
00:51:21,645 --> 00:51:23,408
I don't see what
this has to do with...
1060
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:24,276
No, no.
1061
00:51:24,347 --> 00:51:25,871
"Slay, slay. "
1062
00:51:25,949 --> 00:51:28,440
Not "sleigh," but "slay. "
1063
00:51:28,518 --> 00:51:30,952
S-L-A-Y.
1064
00:51:31,021 --> 00:51:32,454
What?
1065
00:51:32,522 --> 00:51:35,616
It's about an alien
from outer space.
1066
00:51:35,692 --> 00:51:39,025
He comes and terrorizes
a bunch of kids over Christmas vacation.
1067
00:51:39,096 --> 00:51:41,724
Terrorizes children, did you say?
1068
00:51:41,798 --> 00:51:42,856
At Christmastime?
1069
00:51:44,301 --> 00:51:46,098
Where did he come from?
1070
00:51:48,371 --> 00:51:50,771
[Indistinct Conversation]
1071
00:51:52,642 --> 00:51:54,906
We never saw him before, guys.
1072
00:51:54,978 --> 00:51:56,036
Honest.
1073
00:51:56,113 --> 00:51:57,637
Listen, Marty,
1074
00:51:57,714 --> 00:52:01,480
the guy seems
bound and determined...
1075
00:52:01,551 --> 00:52:03,178
to talk to me.
1076
00:52:03,253 --> 00:52:05,153
Let me sit down with him
for a few minutes,
1077
00:52:05,222 --> 00:52:07,816
let him get whatever he has to say
off his chest,
1078
00:52:07,891 --> 00:52:09,984
and then I'll send him on his way.
1079
00:52:10,060 --> 00:52:11,550
I promise.
1080
00:52:16,633 --> 00:52:19,033
What are you going
to talk to him about?
1081
00:52:19,102 --> 00:52:20,569
Flying reindeer?
1082
00:52:39,022 --> 00:52:41,286
We're with
the Animal Control Agency.
1083
00:52:41,358 --> 00:52:43,849
You guys say you have
a problem with reindeer?
1084
00:52:46,496 --> 00:52:47,929
[Stamp, Stamp]
1085
00:52:54,671 --> 00:52:56,696
Come on, guys,
we haven't got all day.
1086
00:52:56,773 --> 00:52:58,172
What's the problem, huh?
1087
00:53:02,879 --> 00:53:07,248
[Hoofs Tapping]
1088
00:53:14,291 --> 00:53:17,988
- What the...
- Oh, flying...
1089
00:53:18,061 --> 00:53:18,993
reindeer.
1090
00:53:20,664 --> 00:53:23,132
- Um, that's not us.
- No.
1091
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,430
You need Air Traffic Control.
1092
00:53:25,502 --> 00:53:27,402
Yeah, Air Traffic Control.
1093
00:53:31,641 --> 00:53:35,236
From this longitude,
you must leave by 7:00.
1094
00:53:35,312 --> 00:53:37,280
Any later,
and you'll run into daylight...
1095
00:53:37,347 --> 00:53:39,281
before you get to the end of the trip.
1096
00:53:39,349 --> 00:53:41,579
- So, I've arranged...
- Hold it.
1097
00:53:41,651 --> 00:53:45,519
You're talking about every child
in the whole world...
1098
00:53:45,589 --> 00:53:46,988
in one night.
1099
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:50,026
No, you see, many of them...
1100
00:53:50,093 --> 00:53:52,823
hold cultural beliefs
that don't include Santa Claus.
1101
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:55,763
Have you any idea
how many children are in the world?
1102
00:53:55,832 --> 00:54:02,101
1,789,635,142.
1103
00:54:02,172 --> 00:54:04,265
Well, that's a ballpark figure.
1104
00:54:04,341 --> 00:54:07,435
If I'm going too quick,
just say so.
1105
00:54:07,510 --> 00:54:11,207
[Car Horn]
1106
00:54:13,850 --> 00:54:15,750
[Jingle]
1107
00:54:27,797 --> 00:54:29,321
[Zing]
1108
00:54:29,399 --> 00:54:31,094
Ma-ma, Ma-ma.
1109
00:54:35,605 --> 00:54:37,004
Come on.
1110
00:54:37,073 --> 00:54:39,371
Somebody must have
asked for something good;
1111
00:54:39,442 --> 00:54:42,411
a stereo, some jewelry.
1112
00:54:44,748 --> 00:54:46,682
- Hey, you!
- Yeah?
1113
00:54:46,750 --> 00:54:48,547
- Is this your truck?
- Yup.
1114
00:54:48,618 --> 00:54:50,643
- Are you the snake guy?
- Yeah.
1115
00:54:50,720 --> 00:54:52,210
Okay, boys,
1116
00:54:52,289 --> 00:54:53,779
bring 'em on over here.
1117
00:54:56,826 --> 00:54:58,157
[Hiss, Hiss]
1118
00:55:00,897 --> 00:55:02,330
Yeah, thanks.
1119
00:55:02,399 --> 00:55:03,991
I'll count 'em later.
1120
00:55:04,067 --> 00:55:05,295
[Rattle, Hiss]
1121
00:55:06,002 --> 00:55:07,936
Eww-heww.
1122
00:55:08,004 --> 00:55:11,337
Listen, you seem to be
very much into this.
1123
00:55:11,408 --> 00:55:15,174
Why don't you just continue
being Santa Claus yourself?
1124
00:55:15,245 --> 00:55:18,237
Nothing would give me
more pleasure.
1125
00:55:18,315 --> 00:55:20,909
But Joe, what I'm talking about
is a torch;
1126
00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:24,181
a bright, shining torch,
that is carried for awhile...
1127
00:55:24,254 --> 00:55:26,586
and then passed on to another.
1128
00:55:26,656 --> 00:55:29,216
If it's not passed on,
1129
00:55:29,292 --> 00:55:33,456
the flame flickers and dies.
1130
00:55:33,530 --> 00:55:37,432
You know, I've carried this torch
for more seasons...
1131
00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:39,365
than I should have done.
1132
00:55:40,970 --> 00:55:43,131
Because I loved it so much.
1133
00:55:44,607 --> 00:55:50,045
But now,
I've taken to making notes.
1134
00:55:50,113 --> 00:55:52,047
Well, you can't do it that way.
1135
00:55:52,115 --> 00:55:53,980
It shouldn't be done that way.
1136
00:55:54,050 --> 00:55:56,780
It can't be done that way.
1137
00:55:58,188 --> 00:56:01,453
It's time for someone new.
1138
00:56:01,524 --> 00:56:03,992
It's time for you, Joe.
1139
00:56:08,732 --> 00:56:09,994
[Zing]
1140
00:56:11,067 --> 00:56:13,365
Ahh, more kid stuff.
1141
00:56:20,577 --> 00:56:23,546
I need more time.
1142
00:56:35,725 --> 00:56:37,659
How'd it go?
1143
00:56:37,727 --> 00:56:40,195
I don't think
I'd ride back there if I were you.
1144
00:56:40,263 --> 00:56:42,925
Why don't you ride up here
with me, okay?
1145
00:56:42,999 --> 00:56:44,899
[Rattle]
1146
00:56:45,668 --> 00:56:47,602
Ohhh.
1147
00:56:49,739 --> 00:56:51,707
Did you get rid of him?
1148
00:56:51,775 --> 00:56:54,608
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I did.
1149
00:56:58,715 --> 00:57:00,683
[Santa]
I feel as light as a bubble, my boy.
1150
00:57:00,750 --> 00:57:02,980
You have no idea
what a relief this is.
1151
00:57:03,052 --> 00:57:04,986
Now, I must pick up the sack,
1152
00:57:05,054 --> 00:57:07,454
then go to the Children's Museum...
1153
00:57:07,524 --> 00:57:10,186
where I've arranged to meet Joe.
1154
00:57:10,260 --> 00:57:12,956
He must leave by 7:00 at the latest.
1155
00:57:13,029 --> 00:57:15,156
What about the sleigh
and the 8 tiny reindeer?
1156
00:57:15,231 --> 00:57:18,166
They're at the airport
waiting for my helpers to pick them up.
1157
00:57:18,234 --> 00:57:20,225
You want to go from the airport...
1158
00:57:20,303 --> 00:57:23,363
to downtown at rush-hour?
1159
00:57:25,475 --> 00:57:27,966
Yes. Is there a problem?
1160
00:57:28,044 --> 00:57:30,342
They'll be bunched in there
like caterpillars...
1161
00:57:30,413 --> 00:57:32,244
or snakes!
Ahhh!
1162
00:57:47,030 --> 00:57:48,691
- Oh, hi.
- Better get moving.
1163
00:57:48,765 --> 00:57:50,790
It's time for the 3 Musketeers
to saddle up...
1164
00:57:50,867 --> 00:57:52,767
and ride to glory.
Know what I mean?
1165
00:57:52,836 --> 00:57:55,304
L-I-I don't know.
I think, um...
1166
00:57:55,371 --> 00:57:57,839
I think I've got something else to do.
1167
00:57:57,907 --> 00:57:59,841
I'm just gonna get my stuff.
1168
00:58:03,446 --> 00:58:05,778
You better check it out.
1169
00:58:05,849 --> 00:58:07,214
Why?
1170
00:58:07,283 --> 00:58:09,274
Well, call it...
1171
00:58:09,352 --> 00:58:11,479
a fifth sense.
Call it...
1172
00:58:11,554 --> 00:58:13,215
a flash of intermission,
1173
00:58:13,289 --> 00:58:18,056
but I've got this feeling deep
down in the heart of my bottom.
1174
00:58:19,762 --> 00:58:21,389
Oh, I see.
1175
00:58:21,464 --> 00:58:24,729
She couldn't do anything like that.
1176
00:58:24,801 --> 00:58:27,531
Still, I'd feel a whole lot better...
1177
00:58:27,604 --> 00:58:29,731
if we looked in the sack.
1178
00:58:29,806 --> 00:58:31,467
[Giggles]
1179
00:58:34,143 --> 00:58:36,202
Ah, would you put this
in the pickup?
1180
00:58:36,279 --> 00:58:37,211
Sure.
1181
00:58:42,252 --> 00:58:44,049
Trust people.
1182
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:47,112
It pays off more often
than you think.
1183
00:58:54,664 --> 00:58:57,360
[Ernest]
Are you ready to go?
1184
00:58:57,433 --> 00:58:58,525
Me?
1185
00:58:58,601 --> 00:59:00,535
Um, no.
1186
00:59:00,603 --> 00:59:02,434
I've got to meet my cousin,
you know.
1187
00:59:02,505 --> 00:59:04,370
She's here in town,
and she called me.
1188
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:07,068
She said she had
some clothes for me.
1189
00:59:07,143 --> 00:59:09,077
So I'm going to go
and try 'em on, you know?
1190
00:59:09,145 --> 00:59:11,443
See if they fit and stuff.
1191
00:59:11,514 --> 00:59:12,606
I'll see you later.
1192
00:59:12,682 --> 00:59:14,081
Bye.
1193
00:59:14,150 --> 00:59:15,117
Wish us luck.
1194
00:59:15,184 --> 00:59:17,345
Oh, yeah. Luck.
1195
00:59:17,420 --> 00:59:18,409
Bye.
1196
00:59:42,545 --> 00:59:44,012
[Jingle]
1197
00:59:56,960 --> 00:59:58,894
There you go.
Door to door service.
1198
00:59:58,962 --> 01:00:01,726
This looks like the right place
over here.
1199
01:00:05,401 --> 01:00:07,266
Santa, I've got to get going.
1200
01:00:07,337 --> 01:00:09,396
Your boys are
facing rush-hour traffic.
1201
01:00:09,472 --> 01:00:11,804
I've got to make sure
they get you-know-what...
1202
01:00:11,874 --> 01:00:14,604
over to you-know-where
by you-know-when.
1203
01:00:14,677 --> 01:00:16,736
[Chuckles]
Yeah.
1204
01:00:31,694 --> 01:00:33,059
[Knock, Knock]
1205
01:00:35,832 --> 01:00:37,197
Joe?
1206
01:00:42,171 --> 01:00:43,695
Joe, are you home?
1207
01:00:43,773 --> 01:00:45,707
Yeah.
Just a second.
1208
01:00:50,179 --> 01:00:52,272
How did you find my house?
1209
01:00:52,348 --> 01:00:54,248
Well, it comes with the job.
1210
01:00:55,451 --> 01:00:56,884
What?
1211
01:00:56,953 --> 01:00:59,217
What did you do to yourself?
1212
01:00:59,288 --> 01:01:01,017
If you must know,
1213
01:01:01,090 --> 01:01:02,489
I needed to turn the clock back.
1214
01:01:02,558 --> 01:01:04,458
Well, I shall have to figure out...
1215
01:01:04,527 --> 01:01:05,892
how to deal with this.
1216
01:01:05,962 --> 01:01:08,863
We can talk on our way
to the Children's Museum.
1217
01:01:08,931 --> 01:01:11,991
Look, you know,
1218
01:01:12,068 --> 01:01:14,229
I really don't know how to...
1219
01:01:14,303 --> 01:01:17,238
deal with something like this.
1220
01:01:17,306 --> 01:01:19,536
Come with me.
I will prove to you...
1221
01:01:19,609 --> 01:01:22,237
Why me?
Why not pick on somebody else?
1222
01:01:22,311 --> 01:01:24,905
Because you have the qualities;
1223
01:01:24,981 --> 01:01:28,075
the understanding of children.
1224
01:01:28,151 --> 01:01:29,846
You have the magic...
1225
01:01:29,919 --> 01:01:31,682
inside you.
1226
01:01:31,754 --> 01:01:33,585
What's this supposed to be?
1227
01:01:33,656 --> 01:01:35,248
My magic sack of toys?
1228
01:01:35,324 --> 01:01:37,918
Look, it's just feathers.!
1229
01:01:37,994 --> 01:01:40,053
I know it's feathers!
1230
01:01:40,129 --> 01:01:43,098
The real sack was taken.
1231
01:01:43,166 --> 01:01:47,865
I have absolute faith
that it will be returned.
1232
01:01:47,937 --> 01:01:50,132
At the Children's Museum, right?
1233
01:01:52,575 --> 01:01:54,099
Thanks.
1234
01:01:56,079 --> 01:01:57,842
No, thanks.
1235
01:02:01,484 --> 01:02:02,576
Look,
1236
01:02:02,652 --> 01:02:05,553
I have an appointment
to keep...
1237
01:02:05,621 --> 01:02:09,079
with people who want
to give me more than just,
1238
01:02:09,158 --> 01:02:11,786
you know, feathers.
1239
01:02:18,301 --> 01:02:19,893
Joe,
1240
01:02:19,969 --> 01:02:22,631
search your heart.
1241
01:02:22,705 --> 01:02:25,970
There must be something
that can convince you...
1242
01:02:26,042 --> 01:02:28,033
of the truth.
1243
01:02:30,379 --> 01:02:32,540
In a way,
I wish there was,
1244
01:02:32,615 --> 01:02:34,947
but I haven't seen it yet.
1245
01:03:10,753 --> 01:03:12,516
How far will this get me?
1246
01:03:12,588 --> 01:03:13,782
Where do you want to go?
1247
01:03:13,856 --> 01:03:16,017
Doesn't matter.
1248
01:03:16,092 --> 01:03:17,286
Anywhere...
1249
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,828
away from here.
1250
01:03:19,896 --> 01:03:21,625
Probably get you to Miami,;
1251
01:03:21,697 --> 01:03:23,858
leaves about 6:;40.
1252
01:03:23,933 --> 01:03:25,798
There's nothing sooner?
1253
01:03:25,868 --> 01:03:27,529
Not on Christmas eve.
1254
01:03:30,206 --> 01:03:31,366
All right.
1255
01:03:46,756 --> 01:03:48,485
Are we gonna miss Santa?
1256
01:03:48,558 --> 01:03:49,991
No, honey.
1257
01:03:50,059 --> 01:03:52,687
He only brings you
presents if you're good.
1258
01:03:52,762 --> 01:03:54,787
[Mother]
Bobby, sit down here.!
1259
01:04:13,816 --> 01:04:17,308
Excuse me, can you tell me
if this bus goes downtown?
1260
01:04:17,386 --> 01:04:19,581
All the way to the train station.
1261
01:04:19,655 --> 01:04:21,247
Thank you.
1262
01:04:25,661 --> 01:04:29,597
Hey, you look like
something's awfully wrong.
1263
01:04:29,665 --> 01:04:32,259
Misjudged somebody,
that's all.
1264
01:04:32,335 --> 01:04:36,533
Well, you can't judge a book
by its cover.
1265
01:04:36,606 --> 01:04:38,233
No way.
1266
01:04:38,307 --> 01:04:39,740
Oh, well,
1267
01:04:39,809 --> 01:04:41,936
if I could be wrong
about one person,
1268
01:04:42,011 --> 01:04:44,343
I guess I could be wrong
about another.
1269
01:05:05,368 --> 01:05:07,802
- [Whoosh]
- Bobby, see that one right there?
1270
01:05:07,870 --> 01:05:09,303
- [Whoosh]
- Right there! Fifty laps!
1271
01:05:09,372 --> 01:05:12,136
Now, the way
I've got it figured,
1272
01:05:12,208 --> 01:05:13,732
- [Whoosh]
- These rascals...
1273
01:05:13,809 --> 01:05:16,801
are warming up
for something real big.
1274
01:05:16,879 --> 01:05:19,473
[P.A. Announcer] Your attention,
please. Announcing the arrival...
1275
01:05:19,548 --> 01:05:25,111
of Eastern Airlines flight 835
from Toronto at gate 21-A.
1276
01:05:38,701 --> 01:05:41,568
[Ernest]
Hey, fellas, the sleigh's down here.
1277
01:05:48,411 --> 01:05:50,174
Look now, fellas,
1278
01:05:51,580 --> 01:05:53,514
I've got to have those reindeer...
1279
01:05:53,582 --> 01:05:55,743
at the Children's Museum,
like 5 minutes ago.
1280
01:05:55,818 --> 01:05:56,944
Know what I mean?
1281
01:05:57,019 --> 01:05:58,008
Your name Elmes?
1282
01:05:58,087 --> 01:05:58,985
Ernest.
1283
01:06:00,656 --> 01:06:02,283
Your name ain't Elmes?
1284
01:06:02,358 --> 01:06:03,518
No, Ernest.
1285
01:06:03,592 --> 01:06:05,184
Ernest.
1286
01:06:10,266 --> 01:06:13,497
Well, eh, Ernest,
we've been holding...
1287
01:06:13,569 --> 01:06:16,197
these fleabags
for a fellow named Elmes.
1288
01:06:16,272 --> 01:06:20,470
Now, we got some
real good questions,
1289
01:06:20,543 --> 01:06:23,535
and he better have
some real good answers.
1290
01:06:25,181 --> 01:06:28,548
Look, fellas,
you got to help me out here.
1291
01:06:28,617 --> 01:06:31,609
First, let me ask you
one question.
1292
01:06:31,687 --> 01:06:33,712
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
1293
01:06:37,426 --> 01:06:40,395
For some reason,
I knew that this question...
1294
01:06:40,463 --> 01:06:42,397
was going to come up.
1295
01:06:43,799 --> 01:06:45,130
Welcome to Orlando.
1296
01:06:45,201 --> 01:06:47,226
Next, please.
1297
01:06:47,303 --> 01:06:51,197
Next in line, please.
1298
01:07:01,884 --> 01:07:03,249
Why not?
1299
01:07:03,319 --> 01:07:04,980
It's Christmas, ain't it?
1300
01:07:06,322 --> 01:07:07,289
Thanks, Skippy.
1301
01:07:09,291 --> 01:07:10,918
No, no, no.
1302
01:07:10,993 --> 01:07:12,984
I got no waybill.
I got no...
1303
01:07:13,062 --> 01:07:15,394
second party pick up release.
1304
01:07:15,464 --> 01:07:18,194
I got no customs
quarantine waiver.
1305
01:07:18,267 --> 01:07:20,599
Well, then,
you ain't got no reindeer,
1306
01:07:20,669 --> 01:07:24,332
'cause we're saving them
for a fellow named Helper Elmes.
1307
01:07:24,407 --> 01:07:25,931
Helper elves.
1308
01:07:28,177 --> 01:07:29,041
You got an I.D.?
1309
01:07:29,111 --> 01:07:30,772
[Together]
Ta da!
1310
01:07:32,481 --> 01:07:35,075
Well, that ought to do it.
1311
01:07:36,352 --> 01:07:38,616
We don't have time to lose.
1312
01:07:38,687 --> 01:07:40,951
Okay, fellas, move 'em out!
1313
01:07:41,023 --> 01:07:42,547
[Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh]
1314
01:07:42,625 --> 01:07:43,956
Oh!
1315
01:07:44,026 --> 01:07:46,460
Okay, everybody on board!
1316
01:07:47,496 --> 01:07:48,690
I will not allow us...
1317
01:07:48,764 --> 01:07:50,732
to miss our r-r-rendezvous...
1318
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:51,960
with destiny.
1319
01:07:52,034 --> 01:07:54,161
- Front seat!
- Shotgun!
1320
01:07:56,372 --> 01:07:57,600
Ow!
1321
01:08:00,976 --> 01:08:02,136
[Truck Engine]
1322
01:08:02,211 --> 01:08:04,702
[Grunts]
1323
01:08:04,780 --> 01:08:06,372
[Ernest]
We'll never make it on the freeway,
1324
01:08:06,449 --> 01:08:07,643
but fortunately,
1325
01:08:07,716 --> 01:08:10,651
I know a shortcut.
1326
01:08:10,719 --> 01:08:12,277
I've been this way before.
1327
01:08:12,354 --> 01:08:14,322
Oh, no.
The gate's closed.
1328
01:08:14,390 --> 01:08:16,324
It's not who you know,
1329
01:08:16,392 --> 01:08:17,757
it's what you know.
1330
01:08:17,827 --> 01:08:18,987
- Know what I mean?
- [Click]
1331
01:08:21,063 --> 01:08:22,496
Don't blow it, Elrod.
1332
01:08:22,565 --> 01:08:23,896
We got lots at stake here.
1333
01:08:23,966 --> 01:08:25,957
[Ernest]
Trust me.
1334
01:08:26,635 --> 01:08:27,659
[Pop]
1335
01:08:27,736 --> 01:08:29,670
[Groan]
1336
01:09:00,536 --> 01:09:02,060
Good night.
Merry Christmas.
1337
01:09:03,372 --> 01:09:04,771
Ah, you're the last one out.
1338
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:07,604
Well, everyone else
has families to go home to.
1339
01:09:07,676 --> 01:09:09,337
I volunteered to stay late.
1340
01:09:09,411 --> 01:09:12,039
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
1341
01:09:17,686 --> 01:09:21,213
[Announcer]
The 6:;40 to Miami, arriving on time.
1342
01:09:26,729 --> 01:09:30,460
[Girl] Momma,
how does Santa carry all his presents?
1343
01:09:30,533 --> 01:09:33,297
- [Mother] In his sack.
- [Girl] How do they all fit?
1344
01:09:33,369 --> 01:09:36,702
[Mother] I don't know.
Maybe it's some sort of magic.
1345
01:09:36,772 --> 01:09:39,935
You don't still believe
in that stuff, do you?
1346
01:09:49,652 --> 01:09:53,452
Well, there you go.
I messed things up, like always.
1347
01:09:54,957 --> 01:09:59,223
Only now, I messed up Christmas
for everybody.
1348
01:09:59,295 --> 01:10:01,593
My favorite time of year,
1349
01:10:01,664 --> 01:10:03,393
and I blew it!
1350
01:10:03,465 --> 01:10:04,932
If Santa were here,
1351
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,433
he'd know what to do.
1352
01:10:06,502 --> 01:10:08,595
Yeah?
What would he do?
1353
01:10:08,671 --> 01:10:10,434
[Grunt, Grunt]
1354
01:10:13,409 --> 01:10:14,706
[Snap]
1355
01:10:14,777 --> 01:10:16,438
I've got it!
1356
01:10:18,948 --> 01:10:22,349
Uh-oh,
Big Red ain't going to like this.
1357
01:10:24,086 --> 01:10:26,554
I see no need to beat around
the bush. We know why we're here.
1358
01:10:26,622 --> 01:10:28,283
Joe, we want you
to do the picture.
1359
01:10:28,357 --> 01:10:29,517
We all do.
1360
01:10:29,592 --> 01:10:31,184
Right guys?
1361
01:10:31,260 --> 01:10:33,854
These reflect the figures
that we discussed.
1362
01:10:33,929 --> 01:10:36,921
Keep in mind, this kind of film
usually generates sequels.
1363
01:10:36,999 --> 01:10:39,263
"Christmas Slay 2, 3, 4."
1364
01:10:40,169 --> 01:10:42,262
Great. It's great.
1365
01:10:42,338 --> 01:10:45,705
Look, before we sign,
1366
01:10:45,774 --> 01:10:48,140
I need to go over
a few problems...
1367
01:10:48,210 --> 01:10:49,939
I have with the script.
1368
01:10:50,012 --> 01:10:51,479
Problems?
1369
01:10:53,449 --> 01:10:57,044
Can't we do something
about the violence and bad language?
1370
01:10:57,119 --> 01:10:58,313
Who do you think you are?
1371
01:10:58,387 --> 01:11:00,412
You can't dictate changes to me.
1372
01:11:00,489 --> 01:11:01,979
You're not some big star.
1373
01:11:02,057 --> 01:11:04,150
You've done a chump kid show
all your life.
1374
01:11:04,226 --> 01:11:05,659
It got canceled.
1375
01:11:05,728 --> 01:11:09,596
All you know
is "please” and "thank you. "
1376
01:11:09,665 --> 01:11:11,690
Get with it.
This is the real world!
1377
01:11:14,670 --> 01:11:16,695
[Snort, Snort]
1378
01:11:31,620 --> 01:11:33,918
[Ernest]
Okay, fasten your seat belts.
1379
01:11:33,989 --> 01:11:35,980
Put your tray tables
and seat backs in their...
1380
01:11:36,058 --> 01:11:38,686
full, upright
and locked positions.
1381
01:11:38,761 --> 01:11:41,821
It's time to
slip the surly bonds of Earth...
1382
01:11:41,897 --> 01:11:45,094
and dance the skies
on laughter's silvered wings.
1383
01:11:45,167 --> 01:11:46,361
Oh, brother.
1384
01:11:48,337 --> 01:11:50,305
Okay, giddy up.
1385
01:11:50,372 --> 01:11:52,033
[Snort]
1386
01:11:52,107 --> 01:11:55,508
American 2-6-5,
you are clear to taxi.
1387
01:11:57,012 --> 01:12:00,243
I got an Eastern L-10-11
holding on ramp four.
1388
01:12:03,452 --> 01:12:04,976
What?
1389
01:12:05,054 --> 01:12:06,612
Airport Security,
1390
01:12:06,689 --> 01:12:09,385
I have an unauthorized vehicle
on runway 2-7 left.
1391
01:12:09,458 --> 01:12:11,949
Anchors aweigh?
1392
01:12:12,027 --> 01:12:14,461
Ah, may the force
be with you.
1393
01:12:15,164 --> 01:12:17,325
[Sirens]
1394
01:12:17,399 --> 01:12:18,195
Now, Dasher!
1395
01:12:18,267 --> 01:12:19,461
Now, Dancer.!
1396
01:12:19,535 --> 01:12:21,059
Now, Prancer!
Now, Vixen!
1397
01:12:22,104 --> 01:12:23,537
On, Comet!
On, Cupid!
1398
01:12:23,605 --> 01:12:24,572
On, Donder.!
1399
01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:27,336
Uh, Squeaky.
Uh, Squish.
1400
01:12:27,409 --> 01:12:28,740
Dopey, Grumpy...
1401
01:12:29,778 --> 01:12:30,301
Blister.
1402
01:12:30,379 --> 01:12:31,346
Blitzen.!
1403
01:12:31,413 --> 01:12:33,313
That's good.
Blitzen!
1404
01:12:33,382 --> 01:12:35,077
Oh-h-h!
1405
01:12:37,553 --> 01:12:39,714
[Squeals]
1406
01:12:39,788 --> 01:12:41,255
[Screams]
1407
01:12:49,064 --> 01:12:50,793
He's going to kill us!
1408
01:12:50,866 --> 01:12:53,164
Don't you worry,
my little gherkin buddies.
1409
01:12:53,235 --> 01:12:55,567
The vehicle ain't been made
that I can't drive.
1410
01:12:55,637 --> 01:12:57,332
Ah-h-h!
1411
01:12:57,406 --> 01:13:00,239
[Screams And Squeals]
1412
01:13:05,748 --> 01:13:07,477
[Ernest]
I need oxygen.
1413
01:13:10,919 --> 01:13:11,977
Ah-h-h!
1414
01:13:12,821 --> 01:13:13,879
It's going west!
1415
01:13:13,956 --> 01:13:15,218
No, south.
1416
01:13:15,290 --> 01:13:16,814
He's all over the screen.
1417
01:13:16,892 --> 01:13:19,622
[Screams]
1418
01:13:20,996 --> 01:13:23,556
Hit the altitude limiter switch, bozo!
1419
01:13:23,632 --> 01:13:25,099
Altitude limiter switch.
1420
01:13:25,167 --> 01:13:26,600
Is that it?
1421
01:13:26,668 --> 01:13:28,693
The brake, bozo!
The brake!
1422
01:13:28,771 --> 01:13:29,760
Yeah, the brake.
1423
01:13:29,838 --> 01:13:32,102
Oh! Oh!
1424
01:13:32,174 --> 01:13:34,734
Ah-h-h!
Ah-h-h!
1425
01:13:34,810 --> 01:13:36,334
Ah-h-h!
1426
01:13:36,412 --> 01:13:38,107
[Screams]
1427
01:13:40,015 --> 01:13:41,380
We're all gonna die!
1428
01:13:41,450 --> 01:13:44,214
[Screams]
1429
01:13:44,286 --> 01:13:46,754
So, did you ever find your sack?
1430
01:13:47,456 --> 01:13:48,889
Yes.
1431
01:13:48,957 --> 01:13:50,948
It was taken again.
1432
01:13:51,026 --> 01:13:53,085
By whom?
1433
01:13:53,162 --> 01:13:55,460
A little girl called Pamela Trenton.
1434
01:13:55,531 --> 01:13:57,089
Shy,
1435
01:13:57,166 --> 01:14:00,863
always afraid to sit
on Santa's knee,
1436
01:14:00,936 --> 01:14:03,803
always wondering
if his beard were real.
1437
01:14:05,441 --> 01:14:06,465
Smart, though.
1438
01:14:06,542 --> 01:14:08,339
Quick-witted.
1439
01:14:10,712 --> 01:14:14,113
I wonder what happened...
1440
01:14:14,183 --> 01:14:16,117
to that girl, anyway.
1441
01:14:16,185 --> 01:14:21,987
[Santa] I wonder
if there's any of that little girl left.
1442
01:14:26,028 --> 01:14:28,462
Unless, at age 51,
you have any better offers,
1443
01:14:28,530 --> 01:14:30,725
and I'm sure you don't,
I suggest you sign this,
1444
01:14:30,799 --> 01:14:33,393
and we get back to making movies.
1445
01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:35,801
[Jingle, Jingle]
1446
01:14:35,871 --> 01:14:37,896
Now, have we got a deal?
1447
01:14:37,973 --> 01:14:40,464
We're family here, right, Marty?
1448
01:14:40,542 --> 01:14:42,874
- We're making things work, right?
- Right.
1449
01:14:45,180 --> 01:14:47,114
Joe, what is with you?
1450
01:14:47,182 --> 01:14:48,672
[Jingle]
1451
01:14:51,553 --> 01:14:53,578
It's him.
1452
01:14:55,924 --> 01:14:58,188
I'm him.
1453
01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:02,422
Who's him?
1454
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:05,934
Merry Christmas, everybody!
1455
01:15:06,001 --> 01:15:07,662
Joe, where are you going?
1456
01:15:07,736 --> 01:15:11,001
[Ernest] I told you I could
fly this thing. Piece of cake.
1457
01:15:11,073 --> 01:15:13,041
Level it out, bubble-head!
1458
01:15:13,108 --> 01:15:14,973
That can't be one of our boys, can it?
1459
01:15:15,043 --> 01:15:16,704
No, sir.
1460
01:15:16,778 --> 01:15:18,746
I don't know what it is.
1461
01:15:19,915 --> 01:15:22,008
Guess we better scramble 'em.
1462
01:15:22,084 --> 01:15:24,177
[Siren]
1463
01:15:28,590 --> 01:15:31,150
Bogey at 9:00!
1464
01:15:31,226 --> 01:15:33,319
Uh-oh, hard ball!
1465
01:15:33,395 --> 01:15:35,363
Target entering red zone.
1466
01:15:35,430 --> 01:15:38,058
If they enter
Cape Canaveral airspace,
1467
01:15:38,133 --> 01:15:40,033
terminate with extreme prejudice.
1468
01:15:40,102 --> 01:15:41,899
[Elf]
They're getting closer.
1469
01:15:41,970 --> 01:15:44,063
[Ernest]
All passengers return to your seats.
1470
01:15:44,139 --> 01:15:45,902
[Elf]
Incoming.! Incoming.!
1471
01:15:45,974 --> 01:15:50,411
[As John Wayne] Well, hang onto
your lederhosen, razor ears.
1472
01:15:50,479 --> 01:15:52,470
We're going to drop under their radar.
1473
01:15:53,749 --> 01:15:55,307
[Elf]
Let me at him.!
1474
01:15:55,384 --> 01:15:58,319
- I'm going to kill him!
- Not yet, we're going down!
1475
01:16:00,656 --> 01:16:03,557
[Screams]
1476
01:16:05,327 --> 01:16:07,488
Ho, ho, ho!
Merry Christmas!
1477
01:16:12,067 --> 01:16:13,432
Ha! Ha! Ha!
1478
01:16:13,502 --> 01:16:15,436
I've lost him, sir.
1479
01:16:15,504 --> 01:16:17,199
Check your equipment.
1480
01:16:17,272 --> 01:16:18,534
They couldn't vanish!
1481
01:16:18,607 --> 01:16:20,802
[Train Horn]
1482
01:16:23,145 --> 01:16:25,113
But if Santa goes to our old house...
1483
01:16:25,180 --> 01:16:27,705
I forgot something.
I'll be right back.
1484
01:16:27,783 --> 01:16:32,743
Stop talking about it.
There's no Santa Claus.
1485
01:16:32,821 --> 01:16:35,619
Where do you get off?
Don't say that to her.
1486
01:16:35,691 --> 01:16:38,353
There is a Santa
and this is his magic sack.
1487
01:16:40,796 --> 01:16:42,957
If that's Santa's sack,
why do you have it?
1488
01:16:43,031 --> 01:16:46,967
[Announcer] Announcing the arrival
of the 6:;40 Christmas Express...
1489
01:16:51,807 --> 01:16:54,970
[Ernest] This is your pilot.
We're experiencing turbulence.
1490
01:16:56,612 --> 01:16:58,637
What's this?
1491
01:17:00,549 --> 01:17:02,107
[Screams]
1492
01:17:22,004 --> 01:17:24,871
Come on!
1493
01:17:32,481 --> 01:17:34,506
You know,
1494
01:17:34,583 --> 01:17:36,847
I haven't believed
in Santa Claus since...
1495
01:17:36,918 --> 01:17:41,287
January 17, 1931.
1496
01:17:41,356 --> 01:17:43,620
Your smart-aleck sister
thought it was time...
1497
01:17:43,692 --> 01:17:47,184
you learned
the quote unquote truth.
1498
01:17:49,765 --> 01:17:52,928
I'm so sorry you got busted.
1499
01:17:53,001 --> 01:17:54,866
[Chuckles]
Oh!
1500
01:18:09,551 --> 01:18:12,213
[Jingle]
1501
01:18:23,799 --> 01:18:25,164
Welcome back,
1502
01:18:25,233 --> 01:18:27,565
Pamela.
1503
01:18:31,740 --> 01:18:34,573
I'm sorry.
1504
01:18:34,643 --> 01:18:38,079
I never doubted
you'd do the right thing.
1505
01:18:38,146 --> 01:18:39,340
Really?
1506
01:18:39,414 --> 01:18:41,541
Heh.
1507
01:18:41,616 --> 01:18:43,083
Just a little bit of doubt.
1508
01:18:47,456 --> 01:18:50,584
I just got to thinking about you...
1509
01:18:50,659 --> 01:18:53,787
and Ernest,
1510
01:18:55,630 --> 01:18:58,622
and just a whole bunch of things.
1511
01:19:00,102 --> 01:19:02,969
I think I really got things figured out.
1512
01:19:04,172 --> 01:19:07,505
I even called my mom,
1513
01:19:07,576 --> 01:19:09,510
and I'm going home.
1514
01:19:09,578 --> 01:19:13,070
I'm sure she was worried about you.
1515
01:19:13,148 --> 01:19:16,879
Yeah, especially when I told her
who I was with.
1516
01:19:16,952 --> 01:19:19,352
Ha! Ha!
1517
01:19:21,423 --> 01:19:24,187
I told you
I could handle this baby.
1518
01:19:24,259 --> 01:19:26,227
We're not going to make it!
1519
01:19:26,294 --> 01:19:27,886
Don't worry, we'll make it.
1520
01:19:27,963 --> 01:19:30,397
I have lived my life
in the fast lane.
1521
01:19:30,465 --> 01:19:31,523
Know what I mean?
1522
01:19:32,534 --> 01:19:33,694
Don't touch that!
1523
01:19:33,769 --> 01:19:35,669
What's the problem?
1524
01:19:36,538 --> 01:19:37,197
Ah-h-h!
1525
01:19:45,046 --> 01:19:46,809
It's Joe.
1526
01:20:04,166 --> 01:20:05,963
You came.
1527
01:20:06,034 --> 01:20:10,232
Yeah.
The job still open?
1528
01:20:10,305 --> 01:20:12,569
For the right man, it is.
1529
01:20:30,158 --> 01:20:31,648
Nice threads.!
1530
01:20:34,763 --> 01:20:35,855
How do I look?
1531
01:20:35,931 --> 01:20:37,262
Like the real thing.
1532
01:20:37,332 --> 01:20:39,197
You look wonderful, Joe.
1533
01:20:39,267 --> 01:20:41,258
Oh, Santa.
1534
01:20:41,336 --> 01:20:43,668
Well,
1535
01:20:43,738 --> 01:20:45,000
I guess I better get going.
1536
01:20:45,073 --> 01:20:46,597
You probably need this.
1537
01:20:46,675 --> 01:20:49,200
I hope you know how it works,
'cause nobody else does.
1538
01:20:49,277 --> 01:20:51,643
By the way,
my name's Harmony Starr.
1539
01:20:51,713 --> 01:20:53,374
No it's not.
It's Pamela Trenton;
1540
01:20:53,448 --> 01:20:56,349
1724 Hampton Avenue,
Bloomington, Indiana.
1541
01:20:56,418 --> 01:20:58,113
How did I know that?
1542
01:20:58,186 --> 01:21:00,711
You'll find you know a lot of things.
1543
01:21:00,789 --> 01:21:03,986
Oh, my goodness,
3 minutes to 7:00.
1544
01:21:04,059 --> 01:21:05,424
Where's the sleigh?
1545
01:21:07,128 --> 01:21:08,959
The sleigh?
1546
01:21:09,030 --> 01:21:10,861
I thought you had it.
1547
01:21:16,104 --> 01:21:19,403
[Chuckles]
1548
01:21:20,542 --> 01:21:23,235
Whoa!
1549
01:21:24,880 --> 01:21:27,075
[Elf]
Pull the stick.!
1550
01:21:28,316 --> 01:21:30,011
Ah-h-h!
1551
01:21:30,085 --> 01:21:32,883
You told me if I became Santa,
1552
01:21:32,954 --> 01:21:34,717
I could perform miracles.
1553
01:21:34,789 --> 01:21:36,347
Were you kidding
or was that real?
1554
01:21:36,424 --> 01:21:38,756
Oh, no.
It's real, all right,
1555
01:21:38,827 --> 01:21:41,660
but I'm not sure
what you can do about this;
1556
01:21:41,730 --> 01:21:44,062
Ernest, the sleigh,
and all that.
1557
01:21:44,132 --> 01:21:45,827
And yet,
1558
01:21:45,901 --> 01:21:49,268
maybe there is
something you can do.
1559
01:21:49,337 --> 01:21:51,567
I met a very nice fellow
at the airport...
1560
01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:55,076
who said he wanted snow
for Christmas.
1561
01:21:59,447 --> 01:22:01,074
[Sigh]
1562
01:22:01,149 --> 01:22:02,514
Let's give it a try.
1563
01:22:05,186 --> 01:22:06,676
Can he really do that?
1564
01:22:06,755 --> 01:22:08,814
If anybody can.
1565
01:22:13,261 --> 01:22:16,287
[Howling Wind]
1566
01:22:24,706 --> 01:22:25,900
What's going on?
1567
01:22:25,974 --> 01:22:28,169
Christmas is going on.
1568
01:22:31,546 --> 01:22:33,173
[Chuckles]
1569
01:22:34,582 --> 01:22:37,142
It really feels like Christmas.
1570
01:22:37,218 --> 01:22:38,583
This is great!
1571
01:22:40,388 --> 01:22:43,653
[Harmony] It's snowing in
Orlando. I can't believe it.
1572
01:22:43,725 --> 01:22:46,159
I don't care if it's Christmas eve.
1573
01:22:46,227 --> 01:22:49,458
We close the deal tonight
or not at all.
1574
01:22:56,738 --> 01:22:59,468
It's snowing;
1575
01:22:59,541 --> 01:23:01,668
just like home.
1576
01:23:02,811 --> 01:23:05,006
Ha! Ha! Ha!
1577
01:23:06,715 --> 01:23:10,014
Look, it's Christmas eve.
1578
01:23:10,085 --> 01:23:13,452
Why don't you go home
and stay with your family?
1579
01:23:13,521 --> 01:23:16,115
We'll settle the deal later,
1580
01:23:16,191 --> 01:23:18,523
and merry Christmas.
1581
01:23:18,593 --> 01:23:19,992
[Screams]
1582
01:23:21,896 --> 01:23:23,523
[Crank]
1583
01:23:23,598 --> 01:23:24,587
[Screech]
1584
01:23:37,512 --> 01:23:41,778
Nobody moves, nobody dies.
1585
01:23:45,687 --> 01:23:48,212
Ah-ah-ah-choo!
1586
01:23:48,289 --> 01:23:49,779
Ah-h-h-h!
1587
01:23:49,858 --> 01:23:52,292
I don't think
Ernest is going to make it.
1588
01:23:53,628 --> 01:23:56,426
This is the 2nd job
I've lost tonight.
1589
01:23:59,334 --> 01:24:01,199
[Screams]
1590
01:24:01,269 --> 01:24:04,568
Slow down-n-n-n!
1591
01:24:12,881 --> 01:24:15,645
Air brakes!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
1592
01:24:16,618 --> 01:24:18,813
Ernest, well done!
1593
01:24:18,887 --> 01:24:21,321
Bravo, Ernest!
1594
01:24:22,557 --> 01:24:23,546
Whoa! Whoa!
1595
01:24:24,459 --> 01:24:25,824
Hiya, folks!
1596
01:24:25,894 --> 01:24:29,830
Ernest P. Worrell,
Aerial Taxi, at your service.
1597
01:24:29,898 --> 01:24:31,798
Ernest, you flew the sleigh?
1598
01:24:31,866 --> 01:24:33,060
We told him not to.
1599
01:24:33,134 --> 01:24:34,260
That's terrific!
1600
01:24:34,335 --> 01:24:36,530
But we thought
it was a great idea.
1601
01:24:37,539 --> 01:24:39,404
It's all yours, Joe.
1602
01:24:40,842 --> 01:24:43,208
You better get going.
1603
01:24:50,018 --> 01:24:53,044
Well, I'm going to go home,
1604
01:24:53,121 --> 01:24:55,555
so I guess I'm not
going to see you again.
1605
01:24:59,360 --> 01:25:02,124
[As John Wayne]
Keep your nose clean, little lady.
1606
01:25:03,431 --> 01:25:05,558
I'm going to miss you,
too, Ernest.
1607
01:25:13,475 --> 01:25:16,239
Well, Joe,
I guess these are yours now.
1608
01:25:16,311 --> 01:25:20,247
Watch it on the curves.
It veers a little to the left.
1609
01:25:21,316 --> 01:25:22,908
To the left.
1610
01:25:33,161 --> 01:25:34,025
Bye, fellas.
1611
01:25:34,095 --> 01:25:35,562
[Together]
See ya.
1612
01:25:37,999 --> 01:25:40,092
[Joe]
Is there anywhere in the book...
1613
01:25:40,168 --> 01:25:42,363
that says I can't have a driver
for 1 night?
1614
01:25:42,437 --> 01:25:43,870
Nowhere at all.
1615
01:25:43,938 --> 01:25:45,496
[Santa]
I think it's a fine idea.
1616
01:25:48,076 --> 01:25:49,839
[Joe]
How 'bout it, Ernest?
1617
01:25:49,911 --> 01:25:52,072
You've had a lot more seat time
than I have.
1618
01:25:53,815 --> 01:25:56,409
I knew they'd come to their senses.
1619
01:25:56,484 --> 01:25:59,009
I am probably
the best man for the job.
1620
01:25:59,087 --> 01:26:02,545
After all, I am Ernest P. Worrell,
1621
01:26:02,624 --> 01:26:04,353
thrill driver!
1622
01:26:05,994 --> 01:26:09,054
Do you think we could use
an honorary elf?
1623
01:26:09,130 --> 01:26:10,358
Sure.
1624
01:26:10,431 --> 01:26:12,661
- [Joe] Why not?
- All right!
1625
01:26:14,035 --> 01:26:16,469
Let's get these puppies pumping,
1626
01:26:16,538 --> 01:26:18,438
and start spreading
that Christmas cheer.
1627
01:26:18,506 --> 01:26:21,805
Now, Dasher; now, Dancer;
now, Prancer; now, Vixen;
1628
01:26:21,876 --> 01:26:23,537
on, Comet,; on, Cupid,;
1629
01:26:23,611 --> 01:26:25,806
on Donder; and...
1630
01:26:26,814 --> 01:26:28,304
[Everyone]
Blitzen!
1631
01:26:28,383 --> 01:26:29,645
Oh, yeah.
Blitzen.
1632
01:26:29,717 --> 01:26:30,445
Ah-h-h-h!
1633
01:26:39,394 --> 01:26:43,831
Oh, by the way,
we haven't been formally introduced.
1634
01:26:43,898 --> 01:26:45,832
My name is Mary Morrissey.
1635
01:26:45,900 --> 01:26:49,063
Well, once upon a time
I was called,
1636
01:26:49,137 --> 01:26:50,798
Seth Applegate.
1637
01:26:50,872 --> 01:26:52,499
I guess I am, again.
1638
01:26:54,409 --> 01:26:58,209
So, are you doing anything tonight?
1639
01:27:00,548 --> 01:27:02,914
Not a thing.
1640
01:27:02,984 --> 01:27:04,576
We'll think of something.
1641
01:27:04,652 --> 01:27:05,812
[Chuckles]
1642
01:27:16,497 --> 01:27:19,830
Ho, ho, ho!
Merry Christmas.
1643
01:27:22,103 --> 01:27:23,866
[Harmony]
All right.!
1644
01:27:26,374 --> 01:27:28,706
See that? I don't want
any trouble from you this time.
1645
01:27:28,776 --> 01:27:31,711
- That is a "E."
- "F."
1646
01:27:31,779 --> 01:27:36,116
- "E."
- "F."
1647
01:27:38,786 --> 01:27:41,619
Look, that is, "E. Bunny. "
1648
01:27:41,689 --> 01:27:42,883
"F."
1649
01:27:43,591 --> 01:27:45,286
[Smash]
1650
01:27:46,294 --> 01:27:49,127
[Shrieks]