Courtney Taylor-Taylors self-written pre-Welcome To The Monkey House Biography

The Dandy Warhols
by Courtney Taylor-Taylor

March 13, 2003

The final frontier.
These are the voyages of The Dandy Warhols. To lead strange new lives, to seek out new situations, to boldly go where no band has gone before...

But little did we know that a great majority of our rock and roll fantasy would be spent locked in the hotel rooms of the world answering the same questions over and over and over again. Well, as the months and years and the world turned, we found that these same questions differed more noticeably in accents than in the wording. "How can this be" you might ask. Well let me tell you, the bio.

Oh yes, whatever you say in your bio will come back to haunt you in a myriad barrage of thick and colourful accents from around the world, over and over and over again. So now in an attempt to spare everyone a little pain (which is why The Dandy Warhols do everything they do) I, Courtney Taylor Taylor, have performed the first cliché q and a interview upon myself and here's how it went:

Q: So you say in your bio that rock is the final frontier. Is this still true?

A: Um, well uh sure, I guess. I mean I dont really, well, uh I dont know. I mean anything could be& I mean come on, man. It's just something silly to say in a bio. I guess it's the final frontier if you think it is.

Q: Alright, let's move on then. This is your fourth album. Your third for Capitol Records. Now, was there an album that Capitol rejected on account of it being too "out there"?

A: No, actually we never really finished our first Capitol record. The rough mixes have been compiled into what is commonly referred to as "The Black Album". Sometimes it's available on the internet but mostly it's just hard to find. For example, I was just looking for mine last week but I guess I must have lost it.

Q: Okay, I see. So where did you get the name?

A: You mean "The Black Album"?

Q: No, I mean "The Dandy Warhols."

A: Oh, that's easy. You see there was this painter in the sixties, right, and um its very clever if you just take his name and...

Q: Yes, yes, Andy Warhol, I know. Okay, stupid question. No deeper significance then?

A: Maybe if you are the kind of person who needs deeper significance, but I'm done. Next topic.

Q: Okay, so then how did you all meet and when?

A: We all grew up in the Portland area. Pete and I were friends since high school, Zia worked at a local coffee shop with some other friends of mine and Brent is my cousin. I guess the band was actually Pete's idea though. He had just moved back from New York and thought it would be an easy way to meet some people with better taste in music to drink to than the people we were currently drinking with.

Q: Did you say "music to drink to"?

A: Yes, one needs good music to drink to, but before you pursue that into the dirt let me just say that all great music is great at all times.

Q: I see. Well rumour has it that such luminaries as David Bowie, Robert Smith, the late Joe Strummer and Trent Reznor have all been big fans of the Warhols. Does this mean that you make great music? To drink to or otherwise?

A: Well, the one does not necessarily follow the other but, in fact we do make great music. To drink to or otherwise.

Q: And of course we have an ego about it too.

A: Sure, whatever man.

Q: But then your last record "Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia" was a huge success. It went gold and platinum in Europe and Australia. So how do you account for this?

A: We don't. Accounting is for accountants.

Q: And, with the new album?

A: We actually don't know yet, but it's been a hell of a lot of fun. I guess thats partly why our new record is called "Welcome To The Monkey House".

Q: You say "partly". So what are some of the other reasons?

A: Well, uh, I don't know. Who cares? I haven't really thought about it and besides it's just a figure of speech. It's not like its some slip of the tongue through which you're gonna uncover some huge government conspiracy all Richard Belzer like or anything. More likely you're just gonna bore the shit out of a lot of already bored readers and it will look like it's my fault for being boring.

Q: Ooh, a little sensitive are we? Maybe you have a deep insecurity about being boring and that's what I'm uncovering.

A: Or maybe the only thing that would save this interview from continuing to be boring is if I got up right now and kicked your ass.

Q: You can't. Because I am you.

A: Yeah, well maybe you got all the pertinent information you need and now you're boring me. This interview is over.

And then I storm out of the room.

So there you have it. Our new bio.

Courtney Taylor-Taylor