Heroin Cheek

Melody Maker
by Daniel Booth
May 2, 1998

So is The Dandy Warhols' new single pro- or anti-smack? We took 'em on a shopping trip to Liverpool to find out, but ended up hearing about being bullied by pre-teen royalists.

Lewis's, Liverpool's largest department store, doesn't know what's hit it. For unruly scuzzballs from Portland, Oregon who look like they've just crammed the debauched excess of a hundred Glastonburys into one night, have stormed in for a visit. Spotting a shelf stacked high with wigs, Dandy Warhols synth-empress Zia McCabe darts over to try them all on. "I love this one," she chortles, as a Winona-style bob sits neatly on her head. Guitarist Peter Holmstrom, feeling slightly embarrassed, cringes behind the make-up counter when he spies an approaching security guard.
"Are you intending to buy those, or are you just messing around?" the guard asks, before whispering mysteriously into his walkie-talkie. A couple of shop assistants appear, and stare open-mouthed at implausibly handsome singer Courtney Taylor, who wants to throw some cheesy catalogue poses in Lewis's window. Eventually the store's manager arrives and kicks us into the street. "Who do you think you are, anyway?" he growls. Simple one, that. They're called The Dandy Warhols. And they're causing trouble.

We've come to Liverpool to indulge in one of The Dandy Warhols' favourite pastimes: shopping for junk. As a crafty not to their gloriously gauche new single "Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth", the band have decided to buy each other cut-price gifts that are representative of their personalities. It's quick and easy psychoanalysis, and should tell us what they think of each other.
In a second-hand clothes shop, Courtney buys drummer Brent DeBore a moth-eaten green leather jacket. "It's old, faded and full of holes, but it suits his laid-back attitude. It's not too glamorous which is good, because I don't want him to outshine me," Courtney laughs. Brent returns the favor by choosing an Olivia Newton-John T-shirt for Courtney because "it looks like a really tight fit and Courtney'll look dead sexy in it. If nothing else, it will boost his already massive ego."
The next shop is full of arcane Liverpudlian history, stuffed from floor to ceiling with old LPs, snuff boxes, prison phonecards, Beatles memorabilia, football programmes, Blackpool Tower cufflinks and dusty "Just For Girls" annuals, and it's here that Zia finds Peter a present: "It's a gorgeous decorative glass candlestick, to be used for bedside reading because he's not as much of a party animal as the rest of us." Peter is thrilled. "She knows me extremely well."
Later, in a crowded Greek restaurant full of inquisitive Scourers, they enact the ritual of exchanging presents.
"It's like Christmas when you sneak down before and take a peek at what you've got," laughs Zia, pretending to be surprised as Brent hands her a pair of beige jeans.
"I like them, but why did you choose them for me?" she asks.
"Because they're dull, boring and sensible, just like you."
I think he's being ironic, readers.

A lot of nonsense has already been written about "Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth" Most journalists have fallen into the glaringly obvious trap that it is an anti-drug song, assuming that the line "heroin is so passe" is a straightforward condemnation. The reality is a lot more complex.
"I like all drugs," Courtney says, "particularly if they are free. As long as you don't do too much, you'll have a good time, see the world in a different way and wake up the next day feeling fine."
On the surface, he's discrediting the way drugs are copiously consumed by scene-seeking, Vogue-reading chancers who treat heroin as though it's the season's fashion - as ephemeral or frivolous as a pack of CK sunglasses or a DKNY handbag.
"Twenty years ago there were more f***-ups on coke than heroin, because coke was more fashionable in the Seventies. Everybody who's tried heroin for the first time tried it because it was fashionable, like a new pair of trousers. Even when I took heroin for the first time, it was purely because it was cool to do so."
Fine, but although Courtney is highlighting the danger of casual heroin use, it's only because it has become "fashionable" - a stance which implies that there's an "authentic" way of taking heroin and those who treat it as a whimsical fling are the ones who'll suffer the most. What Courntey seems to be spearheading is a Campaign For Real Smack, saying it's fine to do heroin, so long as you do it for the right reasons. Significantly what he's not saying is that there is anything fundamentally wrong with taking and enjoying heroin.
"That's exactly what I feel. There's nothing wrong with heroin as a drug, you just shouldn't let it control your life."
"Junkie..." seems to have become an anti-drug song by default, a fact Courtney is unfazed by.
"I know that might happen, so that's why I steered clear of any heavy sentiment. It's about an ex-girlfriend who was into heroin and I just couldn't handle that. Her problems became my problems. I can't live with people who want to wistfully f*** up their lives through heroin."
Don't you worry about hypocrisy of taking heroin yourself and then criticising others, who might not have your resistance levels, for becoming addicted to it?
"But it is possible to take heroin and not become addicted to it. I guess I haven't got that addictive side to my personality."
When would you stop taking drugs?
"When they're all gone."

While this reliance on drugs for creativity and image harks back to the nihilistic, Generation-X slackerdom which stuck like shit to the post-grunge Nineties (and made Britpop so f***ing crucial), The Dandy Warhols elevate themselves beyond that with an incendiary mix of stylish sleeze, perverted hedonism and erotic glamour. Their occasional lapses into experimental, coma-rock are lightened by the sizzling buzz of Zia's synth, and even at their most narcotically-self-indulgent ("I Love You" ad "Good Morning" from the album "Come Down"), they have an ear for pop precision that groups like My Bloody Valentine consistently sacrificed.
"We're definitely a pop group," Courtney agrees. "We're a reaction to how most grunge was so f***ing unsexy, humourless, uptight. If we were real f***ed-up, druggy losers then we wouldn't have even have got this far. Having a great time is the point of this group, and drugs are not central to that. I love the chaos of this band more, the randomness which all our different personalities bring to it."
There's certainly enough mayhem when you get them together. Zia's irrepressible energy contrasts with Courtney's languid confidence, creating a manic network of ideas which ricochet between the two. As their verbal combat fades, Peter talks about the three years of his childhood he spent in Bristol.
"The only time I've ever been beaten up was when I lived in England. I was 11 years old, and these kids chased me for being American. They held me down and said that if didn't sing 'God Save The Queen' they would fill my mouth with grass. How could I? I didn't know the words..."
Sitting on the other side of the table, Courtney only hears half the story. "You didn't know the words! It's a great song! [hilarious Johnny Rotten impression] 'God save the Queen, She ain't no human being'. How could you not know that?!"
"Not that 'God Save The Queen'", laughs Zia, "he means the f***ing British national anthem."
This is typical Courtney and, in a way, typical Dandy Warhols. The band's unshakable belief in glamour and the stardust of fame means they no time for petty concerns such as real life and listening to other people's opinions. And for that glorious self-obsession, they should be worshipped.
"You should pay more attention, Courtney, when I'm talking," insists Peter.
Courtney apologizes with a faint ironic smile.
"Sorry, man. Too many drugs."

The Chemistry between us: Meet the Dandy Warhols
Courtney Taylor: Has lips to out-snog Tim Burgess. Boyfriend of "longest legs in the world" model Michelle Norkett. Strides around like Terminator on a Milan catwalk.
Zia McCabe: Looks like a cross between Drew Barrymore and a "Watership Down" rabbit. Claims she slept with the president of their first record company to get signed. Makes Mae West look like Mary Whitehouse.
Peter Holmstrom: Hair currently blond, but has been purple and maroon. Started wearing make-up at 15. Favourite brand of eye-liner is L'Oreal. Is officially The Quiet One. Would like to be reincarnated as a cat.
Brent DeBore: Recently appointed drummer into (and with the hair of) Bob Dylan. Says things like "Liverpool is weird" in a confused , twenty-joints-a-day "Beavis & Butt-head" drawl.